Sport Bullet Has Moved!!

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England Wage Psychological Warfare

And I am sure that will be the first of many war related puns that will fire from nearly every media cannon, as England make there way to Bloemfontein, where hostilities with the ze Germans will once again be reopened.

Finally, after the embarrassment of the gifted equaliser against the US, and the barely watchable stalemate with Algeria, Capello has managed to find the illusive key to unlock the psychological shackles that seem to cripple England when ever they reach a major tournament. Almost from the first whisle, England seemed to play with far greater freedom against the Slovenia in the deciding final group match.

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5 Steps to Save England's World Cup Venture

Back in January this year, I provided Rafael Benitez with a complimentary 5 step guide to follow, that guaranteed to revive Liverpool's stalling season and get them into the Champions League position that every club would happily sell there Grandmother for. Had Benitez chose not to shun the enlightening guide, he might have secured 4th spot, and not found himself extricated to the boredom of Italian football, with Internazionale.

Such is my willingness to offer the likes of Benitez with unrivaled wisdom, in a selfless act, I have this time provided Fabio Capello with 5 steps to save England's World Cup venture. All of the steps should be followed without question, to the letter and in the stated order. Failure to follow in this manner will void the guarantee of qualification for the second round. So without further delay......

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Victoria v Toronto Celtic

I said at the beginning of the season that in order to witness the beautiful game in its purest example, you would be better off tuning in to Toronto's TSSL division 2, than watching the boring World Cup. Given the pitiful amount of goals so far in South Africa, in comparison to the 9 goal thriller contested between Victoria and Toronto Celtic on Tuesday evening, my statement holds true! And, by the way, no amount of unnecessary red cards will make up for the lack of goals in South Africa.

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Robert Green's BP inspired Spill

Its hard to decide which is more horrific, the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that is devastating a natural ecosystem, or Robert Greens's spill costing England all three points against the US in their opening 2010 World Cup game. At least this latest English spill will hopefully be easier to mop up, with the option of a possible change in personnel between the sticks. It beats trying to preen the feathers of wildlife with Fairy Liquid anyway.

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World Cup Crystal Ball Predictions

Its next to impossible to try and resist jumping on the World Cup 2010 band wagon, and evangilise one's wisdom on how the worlds greatest tournament will unfold in South Africa. So with those cheeasy, and some what pointless novelty count down clocks -that never fail to spring up each time an event of significance occurs- firmly banished, its time to get your notepad ready. I have put my head on the chopping block with these insightful spoon bending predictions, so get down the bookies lively. You will be emptying your swollen wallet quicker than it takes me to break into tears when England get knocked out on penalties.

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Toronto Celtic v Junction

Following last weeks comfortable victory over Nation United, this column came in for some scathing criticism from certain anonymous quarters, citing that a biased slant had misrepresented proceedings. Given the result of this week fixture against Junction, it will be hard to be anything but biased, as I pour superlatives over a fine Celtic performance. Let the impartial Celtic writer begin.....

Back at the familiar surroundings of Eglinton flats, where many of the vital victories of last seasons championship were sealed, Toronto Celtic kicked off the game confidently, buoyed as though they were playing at home. The defense, organised and led by Murray, was pushing up the field, allowing a neat and tidy midfield to operate mostly in opposition territory, while the energetic front line were soon asking questions of the Junction defense.

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Mourning the Departure of Rafa Benitez

I use the word mourn purposely as scouring the headlines yesterday morning was like reading the obituaries. "Rafa leaves" one, "Benitez departs Anfield" another. What do you mean leave? Depart? Where to? I ask in vain, like some one in a state of shock at the loss of a close one. He rests in piece on the other side now, a morbid, and not so comforting thought that fills my cerebral.

I may not have been Benitez biggest fan, and in fact at times I found his tactics baffling and his repressed persona alienating, but after 6 years at the helm of Anfield, that commenced with that epic night in Istanbul, its is hard not to feel aggrieved that the poor performance of one season has outweighed the accomplishments of the other five.

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Nations United v Toronto Celtic

Spurned chances, an abundance of niggling free kicks, yellow cards for indiscipline and an opposition happy to settle for a draw from the moment the game kicked off, all conspired to make for a frustrating evening for Toronto Celtic at Centennial Park.


In what is fast becoming a trade mark, Toronto Celtic kicked off the game with the same vigour carried over from last weeks game against Transylvania. However the vigour and energy was not met with equal enthusiasm from opponents Nations United, who gave the impression that turning up for the game was a chore. An inconvenience stowed upon them like  having to read this catty match report. Settling for a point seemed a far more appealing proposition, a tactic which was excruicatingly demonstrated by the Nations Keeper, who's goal kicks seemed to last longer than it would take to cap the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. McGolrick grew a fully fledged beard between one of the keepers epic kicks.

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Toronto Celtic FC v Transylvania

 While the cream of each nations crop begin to descend upon South Africa for this Years World Cup, the real men whom personify the truest and purest form of the beautiful game, endure the heat, dust and occasional weed of Toronto's G. Ross park, in baited anticipation of the new TSSL Season.

While lesser foe's would have settled on the accomplishments of last season, basking in the warm of past glory, Celtic took the opportunity to further test its resolve and up the ante. During the winter season there has been a transformation of Celtic in to a well run club off the field, which now reflects the past achievements on it. The name may have change, but this is still Celtic. Toronto Celtic FC.

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José the Blushing Prom Queen

Ushered in under the romance of flash bulbs that illuminate from the heavens of the Santiago Bernabéu, the elegant José Mourinho danced around the technical area, majestically covering every square inch while puling the 11 strings of Internazionale into treble history. In the wings awaited Europe's potential suitors, clamouring for a moments eye contact from the vacant gaze of Mourinho, whom once again leaves them seduced to the point of salavating at the prospect of courting the special one. What a bloody dream boat.

The final act itself was further proof of Mourinho's tactical prowess, having outclassed former mentor, Louis Van Gaal, almost from the moment the referee blew the whistle. It was as though the whole thing was staged, with Mourinho being the orchestrator in the middle, resigned to an imment fate of glory that awaited in 90 minutes. 

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Liverpool Chasing Spoiler Glory

Slowly but surely, one by one, Liverpool's pre-season goals have whittled down from Premier League contenders, to Europa League hopefuls. Back in August, the now annual tradition of unfounded optimism was taking over the rational mind of the average Liverpool supporter, and had harboured beliefs of finally clinching the Premier League title. Which, in doing so would reinstate Liverpool's much talked about history, as the present day record holders of being England's most successful club.

Unfortunately, from the almost beginning of the season, aspirations of the Premier League title had pretty much evaporated before Christmas. Up next, the FA Cup. A worthy prize for any club, no matter what the targets are at the start of the season. Struggling Championship side Reading, in typical FA Cup fashion, performed the unlikely miracle of overturning Liverpool at Anfield following a goal at the death, then pursued to kick Liverpool when they were down in extra time. Next to fall, ahhh the Champions League. When ever a season is heading south, you can rely on the trusty old European Cup. So kind in recent years, so fruitful. How could it desert Liverpool after such romance??

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Predictable as Ferguson and Benitez

The moment the ball flew off Didier Drogba's boot and rifled in to the back of Edwin van Der Sar's net, with the heavy suspicion of offside, I knew, predictably, that Ferguson would instantaneously begin rehearsing his ensuing wrath about the officials for the post match press conference.

The replays, as expected confirmed that the linesmen had made a glaring mistake, and I am sure the incrimination, would have had the offending man in black panic stricken, also bringing in to question his chosen profession. Why on earth would you be a linesman?? Is this not a job that could have been replaced by a more efficient and accurate machine? Holes in the wall can dispense cash, arguably with more polite delivery than their human counterparts, so why is there not a machine that can judge offsides? Failing robotic linesmen, at least give them the use of a video replay.

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Burnley refuse to throw in the white towel after sickening 6-1 defeat

A thumbing swing from Adebayor, a neat hook inside the post by Bellamy, and a jab from Tevez. Ding-ding-ding. With little over 6 minutes on the clock, or the equivalent of two rounds of boxing, Manchester City managed to pulverize Burnley, in what was more like a towering heavy weight vs a whimpering feather weight than a Premier League match.

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Footy Club Limelight: Worcester City FC

Probably my earliest memory of football, is kicking a yellow and black air floater around the back garden, or once I had graduated from those confines, out on to the green in front of our terrace house with one of my oldest and best mates, Adam (aka sanj).

The trials and tribulations of my local team, and place of birth, Worcester City could not have been further from my care free mind. I was far too busy gathering jumpers for goal posts and taking turns in goal, to even contemplate Worcester City FC's very existence.

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United's Green and Gold Drug Addiction

Such is the growing popularity of Manchester United fans surrendering the usual red colours in favour of adorning themselves in green and gold, you could be forgiven for thinking that Liverpool were playing Norwich City at Old Trafford a couple of weekends ago.

The drastic change in colours however, is not a rampant flash in the pan, David Beckham inspired fashion statement that is sweeping through the Stretford end. Rather, the green and gold harks back to yesteryear, to a time when Manchester United were more pleasantly known as Newton Heath. But, more importantly than the origins of the green and gold colours, the reason for the homage to their heritage, is the Manchester United Supporters Trust (MUST) futile protest, or should I say response, to the Glazer's ownership.

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Liverpool anything but "Guaranteed" 4th place

Following their deflating loss to old foe Manchester United, Liverpool teeter on the brink of being banished from the exclusive top four party.

Liverpool started the game at Old Trafford in explosive fashion, daring to take the lead after only 5 minutes of play, the first goal United have conceded at home since their loss to Aston Villa back in December last year. The goal was supplied by a Dirk Kuyt cross from the byline, which Fernando Torres leaped majestically to, burying his header unopposed. Such was the quality of the header, that current England captain Rio Ferdinand, and much rumored to be recalled as England right back, Gary Neville, both left Torres unmarked. Preferring, instead, to gaze in awe like a pair of adoring statues.

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Roy Hodgson to Manage one of the Big Four??

Surely, now it is only a matter of time before Roy Hodgeson is summoned by one of the big four? Is this a knee jerk reaction to Fulham's triamphant 4-1 defeat of none other than Juventus? Admitdly, yes, a little. But there is some weight to this impulsive endorsement. No longer can the credentials of Roy Hodgeson, ever growing in stature -CV be ignored. Slowly but surely over the course of the last three years, Hodgeson has taken Fulham from the brink of relegation in the 2007-08 season to a team that now thinks it can punch above its weight, and knock out the Old Lady in the process. Who does it think it is?

So, if the prediction that Hodgson, is but moments away from rubbing shoulders with the elite of the big four, which one is he most likely to succeed. In forensic like detail, here is a look at the candidates.

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An evening with Liverpool legend Bruce Grobbelaar

Probably the most surreal moment of my life to date. Never, either since, or before moving to Toronto, did I envisage that I might perhaps one day find myself basking in the presence of Bruce Grobbelaar -a true Liverpool football legend. Such was the disbelief that he would be making an appearance at Scallywags on Yonge and St Clair in Toronto, that I almost declined the invitation. I had come to the conclusion that, even if he did show, it would probably be a flying visit to the bar, where he would summon flutes of champagne from the eager to please Liverpool fans, only to then nonchalantly drop them at his feet demanding they be swept up immediately. Then, after signing a few photo's and disposing of yet more flutes, he would be whisked away out the back door into a parked limo full of models.

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The FA: Are you losing it? If I play left back, Probably!!

We've all seen it at some point during the days of playing youth football. The obnoxious parent, that insists on making his presents felt off the pitch, while the child and the rest of the team cringes at each scornful remark.

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