An evening with Liverpool legend Bruce Grobbelaar

Probably the most surreal moment of my life to date. Never, either since, or before moving to Toronto, did I envisage that I might perhaps one day find myself basking in the presence of Bruce Grobbelaar -a true Liverpool football legend. Such was the disbelief that he would be making an appearance at Scallywags on Yonge and St Clair in Toronto, that I almost declined the invitation. I had come to the conclusion that, even if he did show, it would probably be a flying visit to the bar, where he would summon flutes of champagne from the eager to please Liverpool fans, only to then nonchalantly drop them at his feet demanding they be swept up immediately. Then, after signing a few photo's and disposing of yet more flutes, he would be whisked away out the back door into a parked limo full of models.

Carry on reading >>

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 1-0 Morton

The punctuality of this match report and the quality of finishing in this bruising encounter, might have been severely lacking, but Celtic were spared their blushes courtesy of the foundation that team is built on, the formidable defense.

Games with Morton usually consist of brutal tackling and rising to the bait of bitching that protests innocence at every whistle blow. Its difficult to distinguish what hurts more, the studs on the back of your calf from a tackle that was about 2 days late or the constant barrage of nonsense that rings loud in your ear drum.

Either way, it was within the first minute that Celtic would spurn their first opportunity of the game, and would provide Morton with their first ammunition to discharge on the lines men. Bredin got in behind the Morton defense, scampering down the Celtic left wing and curled in a low cross to Teague. With the Morton defense breathing down his neck, Teague had no time to control the ball, choosing to hit it first time but could only direct his shot wide of the opposite post, with the goal keeper rooted. Offside was Morton's excuse for being caught cold, but the cry fell rightly on deaf ears.

With Celtic signalling their intent with the opening chance, they continued to dictate the pace of the game, but would have to wait until mid way through the first half before they registered their first shot on target. Curley, again thriving in his central midfield partnership with Prior, was looking to make a carbon copy of his strike against KU Golden Oldies the week previous. After another surging run from midfield, Curley let fly from the edge of the box, with the ball looking goal ward bound. However, the Morton Keeper was equal to it, and at full stretch acrobatically tipped the ball round the post. Definitely one for the bank of Camera's populating this bone crunching tie.

Before the half drew to a close, Celtic missed another golden opportunity to take in a lead at the break. After breaching the Morton back line with a quick counter attack down the right wing, Roberts squared the ball to Teague, who instead of pulling the trigger with his left, tried to return the 1-2 to Roberts with the outside of the right, but the pass went wayward and the chance went begging, much to the dismay of his team mates.

With the score levels at the break, it was time for another sterling speech from manager Tibby. After observing the amount of back chat, Celtic were drawing themselves into with Morton, Tibby demanded Celtic concentrate on letting the football do the talking. Despite some of the outrageous bait being floated by Morton, Celtic managed to stick to the orders, and kicked off the second half in search of the must needed three points, a draw simply would not suffice.

Unfortunately for Teague, who would have struggled to finish a Sunday Roast, the half time break did little to appease the strikers quality of finishing, who was having a day to forget in front of goal. About 15 minutes into the second half, Curley had gone on a mazy run deep into the Morton box, then unselfishly squared the ball to Teague who's first time effort from just outside the 6 yard box was smothered by the flailing keeper. Although, the frustration of being unable to break the deadlock after so much possession was palpable amongst the Celtic team, eventually their endeavor was answered.

About half way through the second half, Celtic were awarded a corner which Prior stepped up to take. Celtic's big central pairing of Mercier and Stuckmann, which must have a combined height in the region of Goliath like proportions, meandered their way into the box, which is enough to send any TSSL defense in to a frenzied panic. And, the panic was rightfully warranted. Prior expertly curled in the corner straight in to the danger area, which was met by a towering header from Stuckmann, which almost pulled the net from its pegged footings. Celtic breathed a collective sigh of relief, and finally they had something to show for all the hard work.

The goal only served to invigorate Celtic, and they were now looking to put the tie beyond Morton as they pressed for a second, which could have been granted from another set piece. A free kick near the right hand corner of the 18 yard box had been awarded after yet more miss timed tackling from Morton. Prior sensed that this was well within range, but his free kick which had the keeper beat, rebounded off the foot off the post. Lucero, who must have been observing Teague too much, was on hand to collect the rebound with the goal at his mercy, but in a rush of blood blazed his effort clean over the bar.

You could forgive Celtic for fearing that a 1-nil lead would not be enough, and given the numerous amount of chances to wrap the tie up, they would only have themselves to blame. However, given Morton's lack of attacking threat, the fears were more likely born out of previous slender advantages whipped out by fluke goals. This was not going to be the case though in this fixture, as the vast majority of Morton's attack came from long ball's via the keepers rangey right boot. This tactical naivety played right in to the hands of the Celtic defense, and the predictable regularity of the long balls were easy pickings for the 6ft 5 plus centre back frame of Stuckmann, and Mercier sweeping up. Fourie's pristine clean Goalkeeper Jersey was testament to the solid defense he had in front of him.

1-nil was how it finished, but before the close there was at least one more miss for Teague, however I think this is more than enough of a self deprecating critique for one day! Besides, I hear unsubstantiated rumour that instead of being accountable, Teague blames the last one squarely at the heckling side lines screaming for him to pull the trigger, instead of taking the wiser option which was to square to Curley who was in acres. Curley, you know where to send your complaints!

So, with Celtic yet again claiming a clean sheet and another victory, which now seems them unbeaten since early July, the race for the TSSL Media League title is still very much up for grabs. Celtic will have to rely on KU dropping points, but will be chomping at the bite in anticipation of any slight sniff of a KU slip up.

Club	GP	W	D	L	GF	GA	+/-	Pts
KU Golden Oldies	16	11	3	2	49	25	24	36
Fionn MacCool's Celtic	16	10	4	2	45	12	33	34
Multinational Crew	16	9	5	2	48	16	32	32
Sierra Stars	16	10	2	4	42	19	23	32
Morton	16	8	3	5	50	23	27	27
Zoomer FC	16	5	4	7	27	34	-7	19
Globe and Mail FC	16	5	2	9	35	32	3	17
Hooligan Filmworks	16	4	4	8	26	24	2	16
AS Rosso	16	4	1	11	28	47	-19	13
Trinity Park FC	16	0	0	16	5	123	-118	0

KU Golden Oldies 1-5 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

I am fast running out of superlatives to throw at Celtic's recent form, and words such as perfection have a tendency to be a catalyst for complacency to set in. But, if perfection is an unattainable benchmark defined by the likes of Aristotle, then Celtic's demolition of a team, that going in to the clash were title favourites, was an admirable candidate.

Sometimes, before a ball is even kicked, you can tell when a team is going to be lackluster, and you need only look back at the 3 nil loss the last time these two clashed, or the 1-1 draw with Zoomer back in July for prime examples, but this time, when the pressure was on, every Celtic player turned up with a point to prove, readied for the task in hand.

Straight from the off, Celtic were showing their intent, pushing KU into their own half with youthful exuberance, and they wouldn't have to wait long for the first chance to come their way. With Barrero partnering Teague up front, and Curley dropping into midfield in a new look Celtic, the tactical adjustment soon paid dividends in the shape of a corner. Barrero whipped the corner into the near post but the on rushing Teague, and Monaghan at the back post could not stab the ball home as it flew across the face of goal.

Celtic continued to boss proceedings, and were soon rewarded for all their dogged determination and lengthy possession, when a loose ball was picked up Rodrigo, who, with minimal touches spotted the diagonal run of Teague, and slipped in a defense splitting through ball. Teague's first touch took him away from the trailing defender, and with his second, tucked the ball past the on rushing keeper, in to the bottom left corner from the edge of the box.

The goal only seemed to boost the already sky high confidence of Celtic, and dent KU moral. Facing an up hill struggle, KU were struggling to get to grips with the irrepressible central midfield duo of Prior and Curley. The latter of whom soon made his mark on the game. After picking up the ball in midfield, Curley made a typical penetrating run towards the heart of the KU defense. KU failed to close down the run, and practically beckoned Curley as he neared the edge of the box. Curley needed no invitation to shoot, and from 20 yards, unleashed a pile driver which only had one destination, 2 nil Celtic.

Unfortunately, Celtic, and therefore this match report had to take a momentary break from scoring goals, as it was now time for wanna be star........the referee. Having already been dishing out yellow cards like a scalper off loading Benfica tickets, the ref's cry for attention was remedied by issuing Gonzales his second yellow even though he was not on the pitch, having just been replaced by Imnaishvili. I am still trying to work out exactly what infraction occurred to warrant a second yellow and a first for Imnaishvili, following what looked like a routine substitution. What ever the reason, in the confusion that followed and with the ref preoccupied by "Graham Poll yellow card mathematics", play continued with Celtic at full strength. All this from a man, who scarcely avoided slaughter at the hands of Sierra only a few weeks back, courtesy of the brave Fourie -gratitude personified.

Despite the referee's starring role, Celtic did manage to keep the football flowing, and virtually settled the tie right before the stoke of half time. Barrero was causing yet more problems for KU down the left wing, and after beating his man, squared a ball to McCann, who poised with intent just outside the 6 yard box, dummied the centre back and then calmly placed the ball past the despondent keeper.

After much delay, Celtic kicked off the second half reduced to 10 men, after the referee finally made account for all the frivolous yellow cards. The extra man gave KU some much needed impetus, and for the first time in the match, managed to enjoy healthy periods of possession, as Celtic were resigned to counter attack. Unfortunately for KU, resolute defending by the centre back partnership of Mercier and Carney, reduced attacks to long range efforts which usually ended up somewhere in the dense greenery behind the Celtic Goal.

Celtic, with a three goal cushion, were content to play counter attacking football, with the trap ready to spring in to action should an outlet arise. And, midway through the second half the trap was released with devastating effect. After being crowded by KU on the touchline, just inside the Celtic half, Bredin managed dig out a lush ball which released McCann down the left wing. McCann playing the loan strikers role, continued his run towards goal. With little in the way off reinforcements, McCann now deep in the KU box, went it alone and finished clinically beating the keeper at the near post.

The goal dispelled any hope of a KU come back, even after a penalty was awarded thanks to the linesman's intervention. The same linesman who had been involved in the substitution booking debacle in the first half. The penalty, which was converted served to be small consolation, and more of a blot on what was otherwise destine to be a fifth consecutive clean sheet.

Before the referee took mercy on KU, their was still time for Teague to get his second goal of the game. After another Celtic break away, Teague chased a through ball, with the keeper rapidly closing in and just managed to win the foot race, edging the ball past a fully committed keeper, and finishing from a tight angle into the vacant net.

Celtic still have to ensure they win their remaining games, and hope that KU drop points, but what ever the outcome of the TSSL media league come September, this victory has to go up there as one of Celtic's best performances to date. Next stop Morton, where Celtic will once again have to put on a display of the highest standard if they are to continue this winning streak.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 5-0 AS Rosso

Celtic have rediscovered the rich vain of form enjoyed at the start of the season, but the comfortable 5-nil win over AS Rosso was overshadowed by the revelation that, after last weeks debacle in which a Sierra player ended the game by punching the referee instead of the more traditional 3 whistle blast, was once again plying his trade only a week later.

How on earth did he manage to dodge the disciplinary punishment we all had expected? Apparently, as the referee's official match report did not include a red card for the assault, effectively the punch never existed, meaning the Sierra player walks scot-free. Which, is basically the equivalent defence of getting away with day light robbery in front of 22 witnesses, due to a clerical error.

Also, in what is arguably even more stunning was the referee's assistant blatant denial about the event when questioned by Manager Tibby. It must be reassuring for any budding referee out there, to know you have no support from your fellow assistant when punches are thrown. Would his story but quite so non committal, had Fourie not be protecting the referee from an imminent beating??

So while the TSSL sit uncomfortably on the fence, picking a t the splinters, lets turn to matters on the match. AS Rosso started the game with only 10 men, but as so often we have seen throughout the season, Celtic struggled to break down a stubborn side determined to camp in their own half, intent only to counter attack.

This strategy, although risky, was not surprising given AS Rosso's numerical disadvantage and Celtic's depth in squad. However, when you invite so much pressure in your own half it is only a matter of time before the bridge is breached. And, despite the referee's assistant constant flagging for offside, (passive aggressive behavior from the pre-match tough questioning) Celtic eventually managed to cater for the questionable flag raising, when Curley was released down the left hand side with only the keeper to beat. With the on rushing AS Rosso keeper closing down the angle, Curley decided against the early shot, and with quick feet outrageously dummied the goal keeper, sending him the wrong way, which left an easy open net for Curley to knock home.

Celtic continued to pressure for a second goal before hand time, but were mostly frustrated by AS Rosso defensive tactics. Eventually, around 10 minutes before time, AS Rosso were strengthened by reinforcements giving them their 11th man. The extra man gave them renewed confidence, and AS Rosso began to creep away from the defensive tactics, which worked in Celtic's favour as their was now more space to exploit in the AS Rosso back line. So, the half ended with Celtic the stronger, and unfortunate not to take in a 2 goal lead, after creating 2 or 3 chances before the break.

The second half continued where the first had left off, with Celtic setting the pace and creating the better chances. Celtic were utilising the strength of depth in the squad with McCann coming on for Teague before the fist half ended and had already threatened with a well placed shot beyond the keeper which was trickling in to the bottom corner only to be cleared off the line. McCann proved that he was taking to the TSSL media league like a duck to water however, when he scored Celtic's second and his second in as many games for the hoops.

Celtic were now in full control and it would not be long before the third followed. Teague, was needlessly hacked down in the box, with has back to goal, which gave the referee little choice but to point to point to the spot. Teague was keen to take the penalty, with the hope of ending a goal draught, but the reliable Prior was in uncharitable mood, and continued his 100% penalty conversion with another expertly taken spot kick.

Winning the penalty kick would be Teague's last contribution before a 2 week sabbatical in Europe designed to get his head in order. However, rumours have been rife that Teague may be looking for new pastures, after being spotted in the near vicinity of the Parc des Princes, home of Paris Saint Germain. If a transfer does materialise, a return to GDL Athletic, Teague's former stomping ground, does however look the more likely destination.

Celtic's fourth came after Stuckmann finally made use of his 6ft 6" frame from a corner. The virtually impossible to defend against Stuckmann, rose to meet the corner with a commanding header, but was denied by a good save from the AS Rosso keeper. However the keeper could only palm the ball back in to Stuckmann's path, who, with a second bite of the cherry smashed home the half volley.

Celtic wrapped up proceedings with the 5th from Immaishvilli. After beating the offside trap, Immaishvilli was clean through down the left channel, and kept his composure coolly slotting the ball under the keeper from just inside the box.

Due to "technical difficulties", which suspiciously coincided with Teague's trip to Europe, unfortunately Sport Bullet was unable to report on Celtic's second game of the weekend against minnows Trinity Park, where a high scoring victory was predicted. Until the technical problems are resolved, which is estimated to take an unforgivable two weeks at the earliest, Sport Bullet will be relying on morse code for results. With regards to the Trinity Park game, we can confirm that Celtic met the bookies expectation with a 9-0 thrashing.

Celtic now go in to a crucial part of the season, having hit great form just at the right moment. However, they are now dependant on other teams dropping points, in order to claim the Media League title. In the mean time, Celtic will concentrate on their game and ensure they do all they can to apply the pressure on league pace setters Multinational.

Sierra's Fallen Stars

I said tickets for this one were selling fast, and if you failed to be one of the lucky few who managed to get hold of one, you missed out on a game that had everything, and then some more thrown in for good measure. But first, I will quickly and painlessly call to order that other game on the weekend against Zoomer FC. It will be short and suit, as we all know that the result was below par and Celtic more than made amends the following day. Plus, I am dying to divulge the Sierra meltdown, which is going to take some cleaning up.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 1-1 Zoomer FC

In a nut shell, Celtic dominated for lengthy periods of the game, but could not muster a cutting edge to see off the challenge of Zoomer. And, as so often is the case when a side dominates play, it only takes one lucky punt in to the box for the inevitable to happen. After a solid Celtic first half, 10 minutes in to the second half, Celtic gave away a penalty. Unfortunately there were to be no heroics from Fourie this week, who must be getting tired of the weekly penalty practice.

After the penalty, Celtic continued to frustrate and it took until 3 minutes from time for a point to be rescued and an embarrassing defeat avoided. In a game that drew few positives, Celtic will take some heart from debutant McCann, who finally broke the deadlock with a neat left foot finish in to the bottom left corner, after being put through by a surging Curley run.

And that is how the game ended. Manager Tibby said what needed to be said after the game, and the Mike Bassett, "England Manager" inspired speech must have paid off, as Celtic looked indistinguishable the following day. So on to the Sierra debacle......

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 3-1 Sierra Stars

Where on earth do you begin?? Even Winston Wolf would have problems cleaning this mess up.

The picture to the left is probably a slight exaggeration of how the game may have ended, so I guess we should start with the free flowing football, that, to be fair both teams displayed when the game kicked off.

After the game against Zoomer, Celtic once again had to step up to the plate, as anything but a win would have left all of last weeks hard work against Sierra and the season in tatters.

From the moment the referee got the mouth watering occasion started there was a sense of urgency, and straight away you knew it was going to be an open game, as both teams threw caution to the wind in search of the win. Sierra were after revenge and Celtic were after the double over their arch rivals.

In the open exchanges Sierra began to apply the pressure, as their busy number 24, who's relentless running had Celtic on the back foot. As Sierra looked to push further up the field, and pin Celtic into the own half, the threat of the counter attack in behind the ever growing Sierra defense looked increasingly likely, especially with ability Celtic possessed in midfield.

So, it was little surprise that, with the Sierra defensive line close to the halfway line, a clever chip from midfield released Teague down the Celtic right Channel. Teague, hugging the touchline knocked the ball past the covering defender and showed him a clean set of heels. With the Sierra defense know breached, Teague continued his run in to the box, and with the keeper advancing squared the ball to the open Imnaishvili, who needed only one touch to bury the opportunity low and hard in to the bottom left corner.

Despite the opening early goal, the pattern of the open game remained, with Sierra enjoying a lot of the ball, and Celtic ready to pounce at every opportunity. Unfortunately, the Sierra possession paid off only minutes after the Celtic opener. The ball was lost in midfield and after appeals to the ref for an infringement fell on deaf, soon to be bruised ears, the Sierra midfielder continued his mazy run in to the heart of the Celtic defense, and then let fly from the edge of the box, with an unstoppable effort that flew in to the top left corner. Sometimes, you just have to accept a decent goal, and Celtic remained positive despite the set back.

The Sierra goal would soon be forgotten, as Celtic insured they would end the half with their noses in front. Another clever chipped ball from midfield in behind the Sierra defense had Teague chasing a 50-50 with the Goalkeeper. Teague just managed to get a slight touch ahead of the keeper, but was wiped out for his troubles and sent crashing to the ground. The keeper making the rash decision, that if he missed the ball he would at least take out the man, as the goal would have been wide open. With Teague decked, reluctantly, and I hear, after pondering what seemed like a stone wall penalty, the referee eventually pointed to the spot.

Prior, this time managed to fight off the enthusiastic advances of Fourie, and patiently lined up his penalty. With the Celtic nerves on edge, Prior remained cool and ensured Teague's injury would not be in vain, effortlessly stoking the ball in the bottom left, sending the keeper the opposite way.

The second half continued with both teams willing to keep the game open, but slowly and surely the tide began to turn in Celtic's favour, as Sierra grew increasingly frustrated. As the indiscipline started to seep in to Sierra's play, more and more freekicks were being awarded to Celtic which only served to perpetuate Sierra's "anger" issues on and off the field.

With the game reaching boiling point, and the restless Sierra support taking over the Celtic section, Sierra surged forward with the number 24 going on another penetrating run. However, the dazzling run would end in rather more subdued fashion, as the midfielder decided to dive when a well timed Celtic tackle came flying in. The ref didn't fall for the play acting, but Sierra at this point now feeling aggrieved, were incensed, so decided to take matters in their own hands and pressed the self destruct button.

From the clearing Celtic defense the loose ball was picked up by Prior in midfield. And, before he had time to gather his bearings, a reckless lunge came flying in from Sierra leaving Prior in a heap. This was possibly one of the worst looking challenges I have ever seen, and was the type of tackle that could end a career. Fortunately for Prior though, limbs were left intact, but the already under pressure ref had little choice but to send off the Sierra player.

So, with Sierra already furious after what they felt was a freekick on the edge of the box, was deemed a dive, now had to deal with being a man down only seconds later. Which, in terms of the volatile Sierrra temperament, was like pouring petrol onto an already out of control blaze.

The Sierra players surrounded the ref, berating him on what was a clear sending off. The Sierra left back though, took it one step further, and must have been mimicking the sort of language his supporters were using, as astonishingly after the dust had some what settled, the ref also gave him his marching orders, leaving Sierra down to 9 men.

With Sierra facing an uphill struggle with two men sent off, they were unable to clear their lines, and it was only a matter of time before more controversy came their way. Curley received possession in the box after Sierra had failed to clear, and was again hacked down, leaving the ref no choice but to issue another penalty to the hoops. Which, in machine like fashion Prior dispatched, claiming his second of the game.

The game was very near to a finish, but you could see shades of the infamous ugly brawl that occurred 2 years ago bubbling at the surface. The concept of football had been all but deserted by Sierra, and their only mission now was to hurt as many players as possible. On two occasions, the Sierra number 10 slapped Chisholm, who incredibly managed to restrain himself and continued to mark the player out of the game.

The Sierra number 10 though would eventually pick a fight that you can never win. After yet another Celtic player was on the receiving end of wayward tackle, this time it being Bredin's turn, Sierra surrounded the referee again, and the number 10 decided that as he had had no luck getting a rise out of Chisholm, why not try the ref? So, in what I can only describe as the worst moment I have witnessed, the Sierra number 10 punch's the ref. Granted, it was never enough to send the shaken up ref to the canvas but this was inexplicable, and it sent the game into a complete and utter farce.

The game was abandoned with probably only a couple of minutes on the clock, with the referee calling the Celtic team to the centre circle to give the final whistle, before taking refuge behind Fourie with the Sierra entourage looking for blood.

I am sure their are plenty of bad tackles, punches thrown and profanities that I have missed, but what I can be sure of is, Celtic won 3-1 deservedly with outstanding performances throughout the team. And, in what is arguable even more of achievement, is that despite all the chaos and provocation surrounding them, Celtic kept their cool as the game boiled over, leaving their dignity, pride and season intact. The disgraced Sierra on the other hand, will await what will have to be serious disciplinary action from the TSSL.

Sierra Stars 0-1 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

There is that old footballing cliche, that says a team can look back over a grueling fixture list, and pin point a game where the season was decided. And, often that particular game is against your fiercest rivals, which is usually the first game you circle on the calendar.

For Celtic, after a patch of barren results, last weekends game against Sierra Stars, was where the season's fate would be sealed. Win, and you live to fight another day, hopeful of being touted once again as title contenders. Lose, and the season ends in premature disappointment.

There may well be plenty of more action still to come Celtic's way, as we are only about halfway through the TSSL season, but the stakes couldn't be higher. And with a game with such huge ramifications, time seemed to stand still, Canadian Geese delayed their migration and people fornicating in the bushes, looked on impatiently, as Celtic took to the field in front of a full capacity crowd. Basically, a picnic bench, a couple of subs, and an intimidating Sierra Stars entourage, but use your imagination.

Curley, keen to make up for the previous weekends misfiring, kicked off the first half for Celtic, sporting new footwear, freshly imported from England just moments before the game commenced. However, the presence of the outrageously coloured boots, which Nike claim to be orange, but I would more accurately describe as salmon pink, were to be short lived. Such was Curley's vanity, that multiple layers of socks and sole inserts would not be enough to save the doomed cat walk, and sensibly Curley was soon on the bench changing back in to his more familiar, reassuringly bland footwear.

For the first time it what seems like an eternity, Celtic were almost at full strength, giving Tibby a welcomed selection headache, and a chance to observe matters from the side lines. Monaghan had made a miraculous recovery from the "golf ball" sized injury to his brow only a couple of weeks earlier, Teague was fully fit and Celtic had the luxury of the formidable defensive partnership of Mercier and Stuckmann once again.

So, with an embarrassment of talented riches, Celtic soon got into there groove, confidently knocking the ball about, patiently looking for an opening, while Sierra looked predictable as all there play would go through the talented number 10, that McCallum had in his pocket all day. I always enjoying seeing personal battles develop on the field, and McCallum with sheer dogged determination was winning this particular one, demonstrated by the numbers 10 constant appeals to the ref.

At the opposite end of the field, Celtic's number 19 (who could that be I wonder?) was doing more than his share of referee harassment, and such was the gobby and at times idiotic behaviour, that Tibby threatened to withdraw the striker if the petulance persisted. What can I say, Sierra brings out the best in me!

The first half would end 0-0, but Celtic looked comfortable, and capable of pushing on in the second half in order to get the results they craved. And with the restart, Celtic almost broke the deadlock moments in to the second half. Teague anticipated an awkward pass across the Sierra back line and duly robbed the centre back as he hesitated in possession. Still some 35 yards from goal and with the covering defender closing in, Teague's second touch dragged him wide of the goal and leaving too much work to do. Unfortunately the final shot lacked power and the accuracy, but it was definitely a warning sign to Sierra.

With the Sierra attack still looking relatively toothless, Celtic continued to press for the elusive goal, and next it was utility man Chisholm's turn to test the Sierra resolve. Chisholm latched on to a neat chip over the Sierra defense, and from a tight angle, unleashed a stinging half volley, but the Sierra Goalkeeper was equal to it, and parried away.

Celtic were not to be disappointed though, and eventually all of their hard work would be rewarded. After some good work down the Celtic left wing was brought to an abrupt end, the referee finally saw sense and awarded a rare freekick dangerously positioned on the corner of the Sierra box. The freekick was whipped in to the danger area, and Curley, with his shooting boots back on, effortlessly plucked the ball out of the air with his back to goal, pirouetted and ruthlessly smashed home a priceless goal in front of the ecstatic crowd.

The joyous scenes, however would soon turn in to utter despair. Not long after taking a much deserved lead, Celtics game would be turned on its head. A hopeful punt forward by Sierra enticed Fourie off his line, and out of the security of his box. With the ball bouncing, and unable to use his hands, Fourie was forced in to a sweepers roll, but could only head a short distance, where knowingly the Sierra striker was waiting to pounce. The Sierra striker picked his spot, and lobbed the ball towards the top corner.

What happened next would have even the Question of Sport pundits baffled......

With Fourie now helplessly looking on, caught in no man's land, Mercier scurried back towards goal, and with the ball dipping towards the top corner, took the law in to his own hands, leaped like a salmon out of water and majestically tipped the ball over the bar. Such was the height and stretch of the leap, it looked like Mercier had cleared the bar. Which, was soon to be Mercier's only line of defense, as the ref fumbled around for what we all had feared. The red card was brandished and Sierra were given a life line.

After the custom Sierra squabbling, a penalty taker was eventually selected, and the player who apparently never misses a penalty confidently stepped up. For Fourie, this season it had become second nature facing penalties, but he decided against the usual Grobbelaar wobbly legs and opted for another Liverpool legend's tactics in Jerzy Dudek's star jumps.

The decision to emulate Dudek paid off, as Fourie dived the right way, proving once again, that beating the Durban stopper, from 12 yards is by no means a full gone conclusion. The game pivoted on this moment, and for all the decision that had gone against Celtic, justice was finally served, which sent the much relieved onlooking bench into raptures.

Despite surviving the penalty, Celtic still had another 10 nervous minutes to endure with only 10 men on the pitch. Sierra failed to take advantage of their numerical difference though, and remained impotent in front of goal, never fully recovering from the penalty miss.

This was to be Celtic's day, and they deservedly clinched a huge 3 points against a previously unbeaten Sierra Stars. With Celtic delivering the much needed win, they will not lightly rest on their Laurels, as next week produces a double header in the shape of Zoomer, and a chance of revenge for Sierra.....tickets are selling fast!!

Fionn MacCools Celtic 0-1 Multinational Crew

As you can probably guess from the delay in writing this match report, defeat has dealt me a heavy dose of writers block. So, as I have painfully revisited last weekends second league defeat of the season, and gracefully regurgitated the evidence for your reading pleasure, I ask, no I demand, you read every last word, and suffer the same heart ache.

As the anthem says, "You'll Never Walk Alone", which, for the purpose of this report, I interpret as you'll never suffer alone. Basically, I suffer, you suffer! Too dramatic??

Blue in the face. That is the condition, that everyone has been diagnosed with when referring to Celtics, habitual Achilles heal so far this season -Injuries and absentees. Abbreviated to IAA's which doesn't quite have the same ring to it as WAG's.

Generic models aside, IAA's, obviously have caused problems since the opening day of the season. However, now we are playing the top sides of the TSSL, and the lack of depth is now even more apparent. But, lamenting the problem does not bring in fresh reserves. But, due to my sources which have close connections to the upper echelons of the Celtic hierarchy, I am assured that plans are a foot to bring in some reinforcements before the transfer window closes. Do we even have a transfer window?? I don't know, but dramatization sounds good!

Before kick off, Celtic were dealt the frustrating news that M.o.M. from last week, Sascha Stuckmann, would have to pull out last minute, after extensive rehabilitation on his vulnerable sense of balance failed. Which meant Celtic were without arguably the best defensive pairing in the league, with Mercier also unable to make the tie.

However, even though on paper, it was the defense that looked most thin on the ground it would be the opposite end of the field, where goals were drying up quicker than wet cement on the unfinished South Africa World Cup Venues.

Multinational Crew, given that they are new to the league, are a relative unknown in terms of their title credentials. But what we did already have knowledge of was their willingness to get the ball on the deck, and play some attractive football. Their stubbornness to play on the ground, from the back was almost their undoing at least 3 times in the same amount of opening minutes.

Curley, back from a two week sabbatical, was chomping at the bit, in anticipation to get on the field and start knocking bones around. And, the uncontrollable enthusiasm was rewarded only moments into the half. A clever ball over the top of the indecisive Multinational defense, saw Curley racing clean through on goal, with only the old school sponsored, AST computers Villa jersey to beat. Unfortunately, The processing time of the quick thinking Multinational Goalkeeper was lightening, and he rushed off his line, cut down the considerable angle, and smothered Curley's shot.

The golden opportunity for Celtic to strike first blood was ignored by Multinational, as their defense continued to be indecisive, but again Celtic lacked the cut throat finishing to take advantage.

With the scores all square at the end of the half, Celtic could take some comfort from the numerous chances they created it the opening minutes, and that the defense looked water tight at the back. They did, however, know that the chances they were gifted might be addressed in the Multinational half time talk, and that notably the centre back most guilty of being indecisive, did not reappear for the second half.

With the beginning of the second half, Celtic brought on Teague, who was making his first appearance since his injury against Morton in the Cup last month. It was not to be the glorious return to play and form Teague had hoped, however, as too much time observing the missed opportunities from the sidelines had rubbed off on the token Englishmen. Just as the first half had started, the second began in the same vain.

Winger Bredin, had been released down the left flank, and crossed in a peach of cross to the unmarked Teague, who could only direct his header over the bar from about 12 yards out. The forgiving Bredin, would later defend the miss, citing that it was slightly behind Teague's reach, but in truth Teague knows he should have done better, and the old football cliche "head it down" rings loudly in the ears.

There are only so many times you can get away with not burying the chances thrown your way, and eventually those misses came back to haunt Celtic. After initially coming from an offside position, the Multinational left winger was played in with a ball over the top of the Celtic defense. The left winger, now very much alive and "active" exploited the space in behind the defense, and chipped a ball to the open man in the 6 yard box. With the Celtic defense drawn to the left winger, the Multinational striker could not miss, and cruelly obliged, poking the ball past the helpless Fourie.

There had been warning signs for Celtic, but this was a cruel blow, as Multinational, for all their attractive play (possibly the sexiest football I have witnessed in the TSSL) hadn't really created that many opportunities.

1-0 was unfortunately how it ended. And while 1-1 would have been a fair result, football has no biased when it comes to being fair. Its a bitter result to swallow, and now Celtic have a huge task if they are to drag themselves back in to the title challenge. Celtic need to rediscover their cutting edge in front of goal pronto, as they have now gone an astonishing four games, only registering once from the penalty spot, taken by Keeper Fourie. A sobering statistic, and one I hope that serves to reignite the fire in the Celtic belly.

Fionn MacCools Celtic 1-0 Morton

If the previous game against Hooligan was a war, Sunday's TSSL League cup game with Morton was the Atom bomb. Going in to the encounter, with absentees, injuries and a general Sunday fatigue feeling, Celtic knew it would be a physical encounter but this surpassed any prior expectations by a good twisted limb or two.

At 6.15pm, location Eglinton Flats South East Field, where Celtic have enjoyed many a cup victory in glories years past, the black clouds rolled in and a dark sinister mood swept through the Celtic squad as they prepared for battle. Final good byes to loved one's were emotionally embraced, as a return from the field was no guarantee, and Celtic took to their trenches ready to lock horns with the enemy.

Celtic's defense, while absent of the much needed commanding presence of Stuckmann, had a ready made replacement in the returning Mercier, able to step up to the plate and refortify the back line. Also, Celtic were graced with the defensive presence of Chisholm, whom had gone AWOL on Saturday following a rumored heavy drinking session the night before. The antics were heavily documented by both kiss and tell cougar's and the Saturday Tabloid papers, making Nicklas Bendtner look like a light weight in comparison.

While the storm brewed overhead and threatened ominously, Celtic drew a line in the sand (yes there was actual sand on the bobbly pitch) and dug their trenches, looking to gain and protect territory at every opportunity. However, Celtic's reserves were soon tested, as little over 10 minutes on the clock, Cetlic medics had to deal with the first fallen comrade. Teague, who naively tried to show some finesse in the proceedings by turning an opposition player, was rudely brought crashing down to earth, proving there was no place for fancy tricks as far as Morton were concerned. A twisted knee was dished out to Teague for his trouble, which left the Striker on the floor screaming like a girl in sheer agony. The initial pain, which could probably have been heard from Eglinton flats NW pitch, may not have caused as much damage as first feared, but it will be a race to be ready for the next league fixture.

If the Morton tactics were not already abundantly obvious, they were now crystal clear. Instead of playing anything close to eye catching flowing football, Morton reverted to hard nosed tactics, kicking lumps out of players, not ball, suffocating any decent Celtic play. Celtic kept their discipline though, and didn't lower themselves to the Morton standard, patiently looking for openings with the now rotated front line of Curley, Imnaishvili and player Manager Tibby.

The First half ended with both sides only managing one decent effort on goal. First, Monaghan whipped a ball across the face of the goal after great work down the right flank, then, at the opposite end a Morton set piece struck from all of 30yards threatened to creep inside the post, had it not been for the alert Fourie who tipped the effort expertly around the post. For all the Morton possession, their intimidating one dimensional tactics (I'm not bitter eh?) were failing to yield any significant return, which only served to motivate Celtic during the half time interval.

Celtic, steadied by the calming words of manager Tibby's half time speech, were confident that if they stuck to their game plan, opportunities would come their way and Morton would only grow in frustration. And, the second half proved just that.

Both McCallum and Bredin were finding plenty of joy down the Celtic left wing, mostly due to the gaping space their gobby right back was leaving, as he spent much of his time camped in the Celtic half. Between the Celtic pair, on at least two occasions dangerous balls sped across the six yard box, with Tibby unfortunate not to apply the finishing touch to one of them. Had the crosses favoured his right foot, surely the Albion fanatic would have had his second goal of the season.

However, any feelings of a missed opportunity were soon dispelled, after Morton failed to recognise the danger the Celtic left wing was proving to be. Chisholm, deep in the Morton half with his back to goal, took one touch to pivot and then with his second curled in a lush cross right in to the danger area, which was just begging to be put it to the back of the net. Bredin, who had been threatening to score all weekend, duly accepted Chisholm's exquisite invitation nodding the ball past the helpless Rooney look-a-like, Morton Goal Keeper.

Morton were physically shell shocked, and while they still enjoyed a fair amount of possession, looked incapable of mustering up the kind of opportunity that was going to threaten a second consecutive clean sheet for the hoops.

Eventually a ceasefire was called by the diplomat with the whistle, and Celtic came off the field buoyed by a first leg victory. Morton will be looking for revenge in the return leg, and Celtic will once again have to step up their game if they wish to keep their defense of League Cup intact. YNWA

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 2-1 Globe and Mail FC

It was not a game for the purist's and fans of total football, but Celtic did what was necessary, rolled up their sleeves and got the dirty work done to claim all three points and a third straight victory. Sometimes, for its own mortality, the beautiful game has to be politely ignored and kept in a safe place, while the ugly hammer out a result.

The early morning 9am kickoff ensured that a strict curfew was imposed on the Celtic squad the night before, which had the sole purpose of keeping blood alcohol to a coherent, legal level. And, what better way is there of clearing the pallet and avoiding the breathalyser from an opposition player, than a Tim Horton's double double?

So, with the senses heightened by a cheap dose of caffeine, Celtic began to congregate in the state of the art changing facilities lavished upon them by the hospitable Eglinton flats. Which, basically consisted of a room the size of a shoe box that wouldn't have been out of place latched onto a wing of Fort Knox. Catering for a nearly full Celtic squad in the small quarters, after the welcome returns of the likes of McCallum, Monaghan and Roberts, verged on the claustrophobic, but demonstrated Celtic'c continuing pursuit of professionalism, on and off the pitch.

In the TSSL's effort to promote woman's right, Globe and Mail kicked off the half, officiated by the unusual honour of a female ref. First they get the right to vote, then equal pay and now they get to boss around 22 grown men, in what can only be described as a relentless pursuit of repressing the vulnerable male population. Next they will be running for office, or driving articulated lorries, is their no end to this feminist juggernaut?

I will be honest, I bitch and moan at ref's regardless of their gender, race or sexual orientation, probably way more than I should. So, I can safely say that when it comes to lamenting the decision's these whistle blowing totalitarians make, prejudices takes a back seat, their is no escaping my, and many others wrath. Unfortunately for the high shorts wearing lady, basking in her 90 minutes of command, frustration grew through both sides as play was stifled by the constant use of the whistle. Clearly, the whistle would take a pivotal role throughout the match.

With that said, the piecing sound of the ref's whistle could not be put to blame for all of the untidy work on display at the Eglinton flats venue. With the ball bobbling around on the hard, but greasy surface, early chances were few and far between. Celtic were missing the artificially enhanced surface of Cherry Beach, and so was my decision to wear indoor footwear instead of studs.

After a good 20 minutes or so of unadulterated scrapping by both sides, a freekick was awarded to Celtic just inside their own half, down the left channel. As both sides jostled for the most strategic position, Globe and Mail insisted on a high line, looking to play the offside trap. The problem with the offside trap is that it leaves a gaping space behind the back line, which can be exploited should in not be executed in a coordinated fashion. And, unfortunately for Globe and Mail, that's exactly what happened. Teague hugged the defensive line, while Carney chipped over the freekick into the acres of space behind the now redundant offside trap. The Globe and Mail defensive line stood like statues, expecting the linesmen flag, only for it to be non forth coming, leaving Teague through on goal, with only the keeper to beat. With the ball bouncing towards the edge of the box, and the cries of off-side now in vain, Teague took fall advantage lobbing the ball audaciously over the keeper, who was caught in no man's land -1 nil to the hoops, get in!

The goal may have been the first real chance for either side, and you would have assumed that it would give Celtic a good foundation to build on, however any signs of an easy stroll for Celtic were put in to perspective when the referee made a ballsy decision in awarding a penalty against Mercier for handball, 10 minutes from the end of the half. It was one of those types of handball's that are sometimes given, and are other times blissfully ignored. But on this occasion, and with the referee looking to stamp her authority on the game, there was only going to be one outcome.

So, for the second game running Celtic were up against a penalty, which gave Fourie another chance to bring out the rubber legs. However, the Globe and Mail striker kept his focus, and coolly finished from 12 yards, giving Fourie no chance.

Celtic will have felt a little hard done by, but their spirits showed no signs of being dampened moments after the equaliser, when Stuckmann drilled in a curling effort from the edge of the 18 yard box, only to be denied by the girth of the post. On closer inspection the foundations of the goal post looked to have been physically shaken, such was the power behind the Giant Germans effort.

The Second half began with the score level, but it was Globe and Mail who showed early promise and initiative. Celtic were miss placing far too many passes, and were welcoming pressure from their opponents. So, it came some what against the run of play though, when Celtic were given a life line. Tenacious midfield Chilean, Gonzalez managed to dig out a shot inside the box, only for it to be blocked by one of the many bodies occupying his route to goal. However, the ricochet fell kindly to Teague, who was on hand to grab his and Celtic's second, forcing the ball under the keepers body from just outside the six yard box.

It was a bitter blow to Globe and Mail's efforts, but they showed great resolve and continued to dominate much of the play despite trailing for the second time in the game. If it were not for the heroics of the ever present Fourie in goal, Globe and Mail would have surely got themselves back in the game. First, and again after another freekick was awarded, Globe and Mail had Fourie at full stretch, after what seemed like a shot destine for goal was tipped around the post. Next, a cross from the Globe and Mail Left wing turned into a dangerous shot, but Fourie was alert to the danger, and again at full stretch tip it over the bar. This was turning out to be a day for the camera's for Fourie, who must have been wishing McGroarty was there to capture what was developing in to a man of the match display.

At the opposite end of the pitch chances had dried up quicker than the greasy surface being played on. Such was the scarcity of opportunities, Curley decided on taking matters in to his own hands by inexplicably checking an opposition player in the centre circle. Such was the velocity of the collision, that it sounded more like a car crash than a tackle. Curley walked away from the incident without a scratch, while the opposition player rolled around on the floor like a salmon out of water. Clearly the sound was worse than the impact. And fortunately with only 10 minutes left on the clock, the referee was lenient on the sleep deprived Curley, no doubt after a few charmful whispers in her ear, deciding the robust challenge warranted a yellow not a red.

With the final minutes on the clock rapidly ticking away, Celtic were under heavy pressure and desperate for the final whistle. Fourie cemented his man of the match accolade with one more match winning save right at the death. Celtic were unable to clear their lines effectively, and their striker was left with a golden opportunity to claim a draw, only for the striker to blast his shot directly at the well placed Fourie. The danger was desperately averted, and this time the referee's whistle did bring an end to the game and not another freekick, much to Celtic's relief.

It won't go down as the prettiest spectacle ever witnessed, but Celtic dug deep and managed a win, when perhaps in previous season they would have dropped points. Its ugly games like this that can have a huge bearing on outcomes come the end of the season. Manager Tibby will want to play down any premature talk of title credentials, given how early it is in the season, but Celtic have shown signs that they can win, and win ugly when they need to. Hopefully in their next fixture against the some what inappropriately named Hooligans Filmworks, Celtic can get back to some pretty football. It will, however, be a stern test given that Hooligans have only conceded two goals so far this season.

Next game 13th June Hooligans Filmworks v Fionn MacCool's Celtic 9am, venue Eglinton flats (NW)

AS Rosso Roasted

AS Rosso 2-5 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

Due to overwhelming pressure, I have decided to take some time out from talking nonsense about the holy grail that is the Premier League, and instead turn my attention to whats really important -Fionn MacCool's Celtic season opener. The writing however, will pail in comparison to those of Celtics favourite pundit, Mark Knipe, who's comedic poetry is still sorely missed by many of those who would open their inbox on a Monday morning in eager anticipation, desperate for a distraction from the working week that looms large.

After the conclusion of winter campaigns at the docks which saw both Celtic teams narrowly miss out in the final of their respective divisions, a new era beckoned for Fionn MacCool's Celtic. Courtesy of hard work behind the scenes from Jude Bredin and Mike Carney, Celtic were ready to compliment the Summer season with a new strip, ensuring a cohesive uniform instead of the rag tag of multiple brands and sponsors, usually witnessed. In addition to the new fashion statement, Celtic welcomed back long serving Desmond Tibby in to the fold as Manager, who takes on the monumental task of controlling the swollen ego's, that are only eclipsed in propotion, by that of a Premier League Squad.

While Celtic came prepared for the fixture after a grueling pre-season, which saw them pit their wits against Premier opposition, AS Rosso showed all the signs of a newly formed team, enthusiastically pacing back and forth across the pitch followed by comprehensive stretches. As the bare bones of the Celtic squad began to arrive at drip drop pace, nervous glances scoured over the unknown quantity of unfamiliar, sizable opposition.

With just enough players kitted up and ready to kick off, Celtic took to the perfectly consistent, fast paced astro turf pitch, resistant to the harsh realities of a Canadian Winter. Under the baking summer heat that disturb many a recluse from their winter hibernation, both teams tentatively sussed each other out, posturing and waiting for someone to make the first telling move.

10 minutes or so in to the game, and with the score still 0-0, tardy reinforcements arrived in the shape of Jimmy Evangelou and Raymond Curley, who were impatiently ordered to kit up and get ready to be introduced to the action. Such indiscipline's that wont go unpunished in the future, after Manager Tibby looks to reaffirm authority with the introduction of the designated "Sheriff" whom will dish out serious financial penalties for improper conduct.

After 15 minutes the deadlock was finally broke in bizarre circumstances. Curley, came off the bench adding some zest to the forward line, spread the play wide to Teague who appeared to be occupying innocuous territory down the left wing. Teague, on his weaker left foot, sliced a cross in to the box which despite being condemned mid air by the articulate commentary, "oh shit", swung towards the far corner, evading the keepers desperate reach. Due to the mid air admission, celebrations were muted given the fortuitous circumstances.

Minutes later, Celtic doubled their lead, after good work down the left wing saw Curley square the ball across the box, with Teague on hand to stab home ahead of Tibby who was loitering with intent at the back post.

With Celtic seemingly in control, after creating a 2 goal cushion, complacency set in with half time soon approaching. Unfortunately, AS Rosso managed to nick one before the half time whistle, after finding space down their right wing, the winger crossed the ball to the striker who finished admirably from an acute angle.

The second half kicked off and Celtic looked to regain their 2 goal advantage. Debutant Colin Prior looked a great acquisition, working tirelessly, setting a great standard in midfield. And the hard work soon paid off, after Mark Fitzpatrick silenced any concerns over his long term future with the hoops, by curling in a great cross from the right wing, which was met and dispatched lethargically by Curley.

Again, with Celtic seemingly in control, AS Rosso unsettled the nerves with their second goal of the game to make it 2-3. A softly awarded freekick down the Rosso left wing, was firmly met by a familiar head (forget the guys name, but I have definitely seen that country man before) leaving Fourie with no chance.

Any signs of a Rosso equaliser were soon squashed, as Celtic began to expose space on the counter attack. Bredin added a fourth after a neat 1-2 exchange on the edge of the box with Curley, left only the keeper to beat. Bredin was happy to oblige, and coolly slotted the ball in to the bottom left corner, leaving the Rosso players to plead in vain to the linesmen for offside.

Before the final whistle, their was still time for Teague to wrap up proceedings by clinching a hattrick. Again with Rosso committing men forward in search for a life line, the ball over the top left Teague though on goal, only for the trailing defender to tug his shirt before the sniper made sure he went down to claim a penalty. The penalty was dispatched, making the final score 2-5 to Celtic.

So, for the first time in their history, Celtic managed to open the campaign with a victory. With a strong squad, competition will be fierce as Celtic look to build on this positive start, by going one better than last season, and pushing for the TSSL Media League title.

In all its glory here are the highlights......