Fionn MacCool's Celtic 1-0 Morton

The punctuality of this match report and the quality of finishing in this bruising encounter, might have been severely lacking, but Celtic were spared their blushes courtesy of the foundation that team is built on, the formidable defense.

Games with Morton usually consist of brutal tackling and rising to the bait of bitching that protests innocence at every whistle blow. Its difficult to distinguish what hurts more, the studs on the back of your calf from a tackle that was about 2 days late or the constant barrage of nonsense that rings loud in your ear drum.

Either way, it was within the first minute that Celtic would spurn their first opportunity of the game, and would provide Morton with their first ammunition to discharge on the lines men. Bredin got in behind the Morton defense, scampering down the Celtic left wing and curled in a low cross to Teague. With the Morton defense breathing down his neck, Teague had no time to control the ball, choosing to hit it first time but could only direct his shot wide of the opposite post, with the goal keeper rooted. Offside was Morton's excuse for being caught cold, but the cry fell rightly on deaf ears.

With Celtic signalling their intent with the opening chance, they continued to dictate the pace of the game, but would have to wait until mid way through the first half before they registered their first shot on target. Curley, again thriving in his central midfield partnership with Prior, was looking to make a carbon copy of his strike against KU Golden Oldies the week previous. After another surging run from midfield, Curley let fly from the edge of the box, with the ball looking goal ward bound. However, the Morton Keeper was equal to it, and at full stretch acrobatically tipped the ball round the post. Definitely one for the bank of Camera's populating this bone crunching tie.

Before the half drew to a close, Celtic missed another golden opportunity to take in a lead at the break. After breaching the Morton back line with a quick counter attack down the right wing, Roberts squared the ball to Teague, who instead of pulling the trigger with his left, tried to return the 1-2 to Roberts with the outside of the right, but the pass went wayward and the chance went begging, much to the dismay of his team mates.

With the score levels at the break, it was time for another sterling speech from manager Tibby. After observing the amount of back chat, Celtic were drawing themselves into with Morton, Tibby demanded Celtic concentrate on letting the football do the talking. Despite some of the outrageous bait being floated by Morton, Celtic managed to stick to the orders, and kicked off the second half in search of the must needed three points, a draw simply would not suffice.

Unfortunately for Teague, who would have struggled to finish a Sunday Roast, the half time break did little to appease the strikers quality of finishing, who was having a day to forget in front of goal. About 15 minutes into the second half, Curley had gone on a mazy run deep into the Morton box, then unselfishly squared the ball to Teague who's first time effort from just outside the 6 yard box was smothered by the flailing keeper. Although, the frustration of being unable to break the deadlock after so much possession was palpable amongst the Celtic team, eventually their endeavor was answered.

About half way through the second half, Celtic were awarded a corner which Prior stepped up to take. Celtic's big central pairing of Mercier and Stuckmann, which must have a combined height in the region of Goliath like proportions, meandered their way into the box, which is enough to send any TSSL defense in to a frenzied panic. And, the panic was rightfully warranted. Prior expertly curled in the corner straight in to the danger area, which was met by a towering header from Stuckmann, which almost pulled the net from its pegged footings. Celtic breathed a collective sigh of relief, and finally they had something to show for all the hard work.

The goal only served to invigorate Celtic, and they were now looking to put the tie beyond Morton as they pressed for a second, which could have been granted from another set piece. A free kick near the right hand corner of the 18 yard box had been awarded after yet more miss timed tackling from Morton. Prior sensed that this was well within range, but his free kick which had the keeper beat, rebounded off the foot off the post. Lucero, who must have been observing Teague too much, was on hand to collect the rebound with the goal at his mercy, but in a rush of blood blazed his effort clean over the bar.

You could forgive Celtic for fearing that a 1-nil lead would not be enough, and given the numerous amount of chances to wrap the tie up, they would only have themselves to blame. However, given Morton's lack of attacking threat, the fears were more likely born out of previous slender advantages whipped out by fluke goals. This was not going to be the case though in this fixture, as the vast majority of Morton's attack came from long ball's via the keepers rangey right boot. This tactical naivety played right in to the hands of the Celtic defense, and the predictable regularity of the long balls were easy pickings for the 6ft 5 plus centre back frame of Stuckmann, and Mercier sweeping up. Fourie's pristine clean Goalkeeper Jersey was testament to the solid defense he had in front of him.

1-nil was how it finished, but before the close there was at least one more miss for Teague, however I think this is more than enough of a self deprecating critique for one day! Besides, I hear unsubstantiated rumour that instead of being accountable, Teague blames the last one squarely at the heckling side lines screaming for him to pull the trigger, instead of taking the wiser option which was to square to Curley who was in acres. Curley, you know where to send your complaints!

So, with Celtic yet again claiming a clean sheet and another victory, which now seems them unbeaten since early July, the race for the TSSL Media League title is still very much up for grabs. Celtic will have to rely on KU dropping points, but will be chomping at the bite in anticipation of any slight sniff of a KU slip up.

Club	GP	W	D	L	GF	GA	+/-	Pts
KU Golden Oldies	16	11	3	2	49	25	24	36
Fionn MacCool's Celtic	16	10	4	2	45	12	33	34
Multinational Crew	16	9	5	2	48	16	32	32
Sierra Stars	16	10	2	4	42	19	23	32
Morton	16	8	3	5	50	23	27	27
Zoomer FC	16	5	4	7	27	34	-7	19
Globe and Mail FC	16	5	2	9	35	32	3	17
Hooligan Filmworks	16	4	4	8	26	24	2	16
AS Rosso	16	4	1	11	28	47	-19	13
Trinity Park FC	16	0	0	16	5	123	-118	0

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 5-0 AS Rosso

Celtic have rediscovered the rich vain of form enjoyed at the start of the season, but the comfortable 5-nil win over AS Rosso was overshadowed by the revelation that, after last weeks debacle in which a Sierra player ended the game by punching the referee instead of the more traditional 3 whistle blast, was once again plying his trade only a week later.

How on earth did he manage to dodge the disciplinary punishment we all had expected? Apparently, as the referee's official match report did not include a red card for the assault, effectively the punch never existed, meaning the Sierra player walks scot-free. Which, is basically the equivalent defence of getting away with day light robbery in front of 22 witnesses, due to a clerical error.

Also, in what is arguably even more stunning was the referee's assistant blatant denial about the event when questioned by Manager Tibby. It must be reassuring for any budding referee out there, to know you have no support from your fellow assistant when punches are thrown. Would his story but quite so non committal, had Fourie not be protecting the referee from an imminent beating??

So while the TSSL sit uncomfortably on the fence, picking a t the splinters, lets turn to matters on the match. AS Rosso started the game with only 10 men, but as so often we have seen throughout the season, Celtic struggled to break down a stubborn side determined to camp in their own half, intent only to counter attack.

This strategy, although risky, was not surprising given AS Rosso's numerical disadvantage and Celtic's depth in squad. However, when you invite so much pressure in your own half it is only a matter of time before the bridge is breached. And, despite the referee's assistant constant flagging for offside, (passive aggressive behavior from the pre-match tough questioning) Celtic eventually managed to cater for the questionable flag raising, when Curley was released down the left hand side with only the keeper to beat. With the on rushing AS Rosso keeper closing down the angle, Curley decided against the early shot, and with quick feet outrageously dummied the goal keeper, sending him the wrong way, which left an easy open net for Curley to knock home.

Celtic continued to pressure for a second goal before hand time, but were mostly frustrated by AS Rosso defensive tactics. Eventually, around 10 minutes before time, AS Rosso were strengthened by reinforcements giving them their 11th man. The extra man gave them renewed confidence, and AS Rosso began to creep away from the defensive tactics, which worked in Celtic's favour as their was now more space to exploit in the AS Rosso back line. So, the half ended with Celtic the stronger, and unfortunate not to take in a 2 goal lead, after creating 2 or 3 chances before the break.

The second half continued where the first had left off, with Celtic setting the pace and creating the better chances. Celtic were utilising the strength of depth in the squad with McCann coming on for Teague before the fist half ended and had already threatened with a well placed shot beyond the keeper which was trickling in to the bottom corner only to be cleared off the line. McCann proved that he was taking to the TSSL media league like a duck to water however, when he scored Celtic's second and his second in as many games for the hoops.

Celtic were now in full control and it would not be long before the third followed. Teague, was needlessly hacked down in the box, with has back to goal, which gave the referee little choice but to point to point to the spot. Teague was keen to take the penalty, with the hope of ending a goal draught, but the reliable Prior was in uncharitable mood, and continued his 100% penalty conversion with another expertly taken spot kick.

Winning the penalty kick would be Teague's last contribution before a 2 week sabbatical in Europe designed to get his head in order. However, rumours have been rife that Teague may be looking for new pastures, after being spotted in the near vicinity of the Parc des Princes, home of Paris Saint Germain. If a transfer does materialise, a return to GDL Athletic, Teague's former stomping ground, does however look the more likely destination.

Celtic's fourth came after Stuckmann finally made use of his 6ft 6" frame from a corner. The virtually impossible to defend against Stuckmann, rose to meet the corner with a commanding header, but was denied by a good save from the AS Rosso keeper. However the keeper could only palm the ball back in to Stuckmann's path, who, with a second bite of the cherry smashed home the half volley.

Celtic wrapped up proceedings with the 5th from Immaishvilli. After beating the offside trap, Immaishvilli was clean through down the left channel, and kept his composure coolly slotting the ball under the keeper from just inside the box.

Due to "technical difficulties", which suspiciously coincided with Teague's trip to Europe, unfortunately Sport Bullet was unable to report on Celtic's second game of the weekend against minnows Trinity Park, where a high scoring victory was predicted. Until the technical problems are resolved, which is estimated to take an unforgivable two weeks at the earliest, Sport Bullet will be relying on morse code for results. With regards to the Trinity Park game, we can confirm that Celtic met the bookies expectation with a 9-0 thrashing.

Celtic now go in to a crucial part of the season, having hit great form just at the right moment. However, they are now dependant on other teams dropping points, in order to claim the Media League title. In the mean time, Celtic will concentrate on their game and ensure they do all they can to apply the pressure on league pace setters Multinational.

Fionn MacCools Celtic 0-1 Multinational Crew

As you can probably guess from the delay in writing this match report, defeat has dealt me a heavy dose of writers block. So, as I have painfully revisited last weekends second league defeat of the season, and gracefully regurgitated the evidence for your reading pleasure, I ask, no I demand, you read every last word, and suffer the same heart ache.

As the anthem says, "You'll Never Walk Alone", which, for the purpose of this report, I interpret as you'll never suffer alone. Basically, I suffer, you suffer! Too dramatic??

Blue in the face. That is the condition, that everyone has been diagnosed with when referring to Celtics, habitual Achilles heal so far this season -Injuries and absentees. Abbreviated to IAA's which doesn't quite have the same ring to it as WAG's.

Generic models aside, IAA's, obviously have caused problems since the opening day of the season. However, now we are playing the top sides of the TSSL, and the lack of depth is now even more apparent. But, lamenting the problem does not bring in fresh reserves. But, due to my sources which have close connections to the upper echelons of the Celtic hierarchy, I am assured that plans are a foot to bring in some reinforcements before the transfer window closes. Do we even have a transfer window?? I don't know, but dramatization sounds good!

Before kick off, Celtic were dealt the frustrating news that M.o.M. from last week, Sascha Stuckmann, would have to pull out last minute, after extensive rehabilitation on his vulnerable sense of balance failed. Which meant Celtic were without arguably the best defensive pairing in the league, with Mercier also unable to make the tie.

However, even though on paper, it was the defense that looked most thin on the ground it would be the opposite end of the field, where goals were drying up quicker than wet cement on the unfinished South Africa World Cup Venues.

Multinational Crew, given that they are new to the league, are a relative unknown in terms of their title credentials. But what we did already have knowledge of was their willingness to get the ball on the deck, and play some attractive football. Their stubbornness to play on the ground, from the back was almost their undoing at least 3 times in the same amount of opening minutes.

Curley, back from a two week sabbatical, was chomping at the bit, in anticipation to get on the field and start knocking bones around. And, the uncontrollable enthusiasm was rewarded only moments into the half. A clever ball over the top of the indecisive Multinational defense, saw Curley racing clean through on goal, with only the old school sponsored, AST computers Villa jersey to beat. Unfortunately, The processing time of the quick thinking Multinational Goalkeeper was lightening, and he rushed off his line, cut down the considerable angle, and smothered Curley's shot.

The golden opportunity for Celtic to strike first blood was ignored by Multinational, as their defense continued to be indecisive, but again Celtic lacked the cut throat finishing to take advantage.

With the scores all square at the end of the half, Celtic could take some comfort from the numerous chances they created it the opening minutes, and that the defense looked water tight at the back. They did, however, know that the chances they were gifted might be addressed in the Multinational half time talk, and that notably the centre back most guilty of being indecisive, did not reappear for the second half.

With the beginning of the second half, Celtic brought on Teague, who was making his first appearance since his injury against Morton in the Cup last month. It was not to be the glorious return to play and form Teague had hoped, however, as too much time observing the missed opportunities from the sidelines had rubbed off on the token Englishmen. Just as the first half had started, the second began in the same vain.

Winger Bredin, had been released down the left flank, and crossed in a peach of cross to the unmarked Teague, who could only direct his header over the bar from about 12 yards out. The forgiving Bredin, would later defend the miss, citing that it was slightly behind Teague's reach, but in truth Teague knows he should have done better, and the old football cliche "head it down" rings loudly in the ears.

There are only so many times you can get away with not burying the chances thrown your way, and eventually those misses came back to haunt Celtic. After initially coming from an offside position, the Multinational left winger was played in with a ball over the top of the Celtic defense. The left winger, now very much alive and "active" exploited the space in behind the defense, and chipped a ball to the open man in the 6 yard box. With the Celtic defense drawn to the left winger, the Multinational striker could not miss, and cruelly obliged, poking the ball past the helpless Fourie.

There had been warning signs for Celtic, but this was a cruel blow, as Multinational, for all their attractive play (possibly the sexiest football I have witnessed in the TSSL) hadn't really created that many opportunities.

1-0 was unfortunately how it ended. And while 1-1 would have been a fair result, football has no biased when it comes to being fair. Its a bitter result to swallow, and now Celtic have a huge task if they are to drag themselves back in to the title challenge. Celtic need to rediscover their cutting edge in front of goal pronto, as they have now gone an astonishing four games, only registering once from the penalty spot, taken by Keeper Fourie. A sobering statistic, and one I hope that serves to reignite the fire in the Celtic belly.

Morton 1-1 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

Following the previous weekends first league defeat of the season, where the football on display was as absent as the non existent match report that didn't follow it, Celtic, travel sick after the last minute venue changes, courtesy of the "Garbage" (Rubbish) strike, were under the cosh to get back to winning ways. It was a weekend littered (outrageous pun) with events, which would ultimately end in the unfortunate trip to Scarborough's finest casualty ward.

Despite Celtic possessing possibly the largest squad in the TSSL Media League, the season so far has been riddled with player injuries and absenteeism, once again calling in to question the possible need for reinforcements. Balancing a squad with the talent and ego's of Celtic's stature is a tumultuous task, and adding to it will be calculated, methodical process we come to expect from Tibby the technician.

Injuries and absenteeism aside, another element beyond the realms of Celtic's control are the wonderful little people dressed in smart black uniforms we affectionately call ref. And, while my documentation of the dictators empowered by the all conquering whistle in trusted upon them, has been quite extensive, this episode trumps all before it -Including, any game at any level.

You may recall the harrowing critique of the first female referee I, and I am sure many others, were blessed with a few weeks back. After a 40 minute drive out of Toronto, to the suburbs, the last thing I was anticipating was the sight of being graced with her presence once again. Luckily, she was only summoned to marshal the byline, but more worrying, or should I say disturbing, was the family of ref's that would officiate the game. Lord of the manner, the husband was the ref, his wife the lineman, or should I politically say, assistant ref and, barely legal, the daughter completed the family line up on the opposite wing. How, any sane farther can subject his teen daughter to what was bound to be a barrage of screaming expletives is baffling, especially given Morton's bullying tactics.

So, with the Adams family (thanks Jude!) eagerly bringing a start to proceedings, Celtic took to the new unfamiliar surroundings with the untested front line of Fitzpatrick and Imnaishvili. A front line that would see almost everyone playing a role in at some point, such was the lack of attacking depth, with Teague still injured and Curley taking care of family business.

The new attacking formula though, wasted no time at all, and marked their intent with the first attack of the game after barley 5 minutes had elapsed. Monaghan scurried down the right wing and squared the ball at pace to Fitzpatrick, who unwittingly flicked the ball into Imnaishvili's path. Imnaishvili looked like he had the goal at his mercy, only for the Morton keeper to smother the opportunity.

Chances between these two sides are usually few and far between, and Celtic looked impregnable in defence with the much hyped pairing of Stuckmann and Mercier. Stuckmann was dominating the Morton number 4, making the ample 6ft Englishman look like a midget with some towering headers.

With the scores level, the first half came to abrupt and premature end, after an aerial battle between the Morton Goal keeper and Monaghan left both players flat on the deck. A cross was floated in from the left wing, with the trajectory falling perfectly between both players, giving the illusion that both were favourite to win the ball. The reality though, only accommodated for one player in that much air space, so with both players bravely putting their head on the chopping block, a collision was imminent. We now all know what it sounds like when a human head thuds into another human head, and the resulting horrific injuries that follow.

After the sickening sound of heads clashing, initially first concerns were for the Morton Keeper, who landed heavily and immediately began screaming, a sound I was all to familiar with a couple of weeks earlier. However, and with so often the case, its the person that remains quiet and relatively motionless, which is where concern can go over looked. Monaghan, dazed, was left with a nasty cut to the brow and a brusie that was comparable in size to that of a golf ball. The ambulance was called and that would be the last action Monaghan and the Morton keeper would see, although the keeper remained on the sideline.

After a lengthy delay Celtic eventually started the second half in a subdued mood, as thoughts were still very much preoccupied with the concerns of Monaghan's injury still fresh in the mind. The injury meant more shuffling of the pack by Tibby, which saw Bredin in the unfamiliar roll of left back, while McCallam debuted in attack alongside Prior.

While this was McCallam's first taste of a striking roll, he had already threatened before the end of the first half with a neat turn and shoot effort which whisked past the post. McCallum continued to make a nuisance of himself, and half way through the second half burst in to the box only to be checked by the Morton left back. The challenge looked shoulder to shoulder, but McCallam's testimony clearly stated that the Morton defender had deliberately obstructed him, while he was at full tilt. The Morton defense were livid, and while they argued pointlessly to the anal retentive ref, I noticed a cheeky call from Celtic Goalkeeper, Fourie to manager Tibby. The substance's of the call was at first not obvious, until I realized Fourie was actually running towards the penalty spot. With Celtic still muttering between themselves as to who would take responsibility, the nod had already been granted to Fourie and he was eagerly lining up the ball.

Fourie, feeling invincible following his compatriots epic battle with the British and Irish Lions, which culminated in a monstrous 53 metre match winning penalty by Morne Steyn, looked to emulate the Bull's fly half albeit by considerably closer range. With an unorthodox starting position, that looked like Fourie was about to unleash a toe poke, we waited nervously for the ref's whistle. Eventually, after the ref finally explained his reason for delaying the kick, Fourie's moment of reckoning was here. Fourie focused and poised, began his canter towards the ball, picked his spot and confidently drilled the ball straight down the middle, while the keeper dived incorrectly to his left.

With Fourie's successful conversion, it will be a battle to see who gets the next spot kick, an enthusiasm which can only be a good thing for the Celtic Squad. However, if Fourie has any aspirations to take future penalties, he will need to work on his goal celebration, which resembled a hyper active dog let off its leash for the first time in a park, disobediently running aimlessly away from anyone. here boy, here boy!

After we manged to catch the runner way Fourie, and bind him to his rightful place between the sticks, it was unfortunately only moments later that he would himself be facing a penalty. After all the constant moaning and appealing for apparent hand balls spotted from the length of the pitch, the barrage had finally warn the ref down, who was itching to even up the score. In what was a carbon copy of the Celtic penalty, a Morton player was obstructed/shoulder barged except that the force was not strong enough for him to go down. However, the ref still judged that enough contact was made, and happily awarded a penalty.

The big Morton number 4, stepped up and scuffed his penalty which ended up bobbling over Fourie's hand, who had dived the right way. It was not the most convincing penalty you are likely to see, and the Morton player may need to confide in the Celtic Keeper before he takes another one.

Before the ref brought an end to the game, there was still time for another bizarre twist in an eventful day. Stuckmann, who had an excellent game, reacted to a challenge by the tricky Morton number 7. Both players squared up in a contest comparable to David and Goliath. And, much like the the biblical tale, Goliath ended up on the floor. The Morton player's push to the chest proved to be Stuckmann's weak point and embarrassingly he theatrically collapsed to the ground, a textbook manoeuvre straight out of the Jurgen Klinsmann book of diving. The Morton players rightfully ridiculed the act, but the ref, who must have thought he was in charge of a Premier league game, whipped out a straight red. Ironic that you will see far worse, career threatening challenges go unpunished on a weekly basis, only for straight red's to be issued liberally for hand bag shenanigans.

Off the back of defeat, Celtic steadied the ship after facing a tough Morton side with many players out of position. The draw, puts added pressure on next weeks game against the talented Multinational, as Celtic will need to get back to winning ways to keep their title challenge on course. I am open to suggestions for man of the match??

Hooligan Filmworks 0-0 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

The score line may have read nil-nil but to conclude that it was a bore draw would be a huge disservice to the amount of effort put in by both teams, in this battling encounter between two of the leagues more physical sides.

Given previous games against Hooligans Filmworks (formerly Core FC) have usually been separated by the odd goal, and the fact that Hooligans have only conceded 2 goals so far this season in the TSSL, the game was always going to be a tight affair.

Hooligans got the action underway and it was not long before the sobering brutalities of war kicked in. Curley's now routine habit of arriving 15 minutes after the game has started regardless of what time the Kick off is, proving the Sheriff's financial penalties may have to be revised, was introduced to the action and took little time to rustle some feathers. With their number 16 firmly set in his cross hair, hand bags were drawn off the ball, leaving the ref no option but to book both Curley and, in a case of mistaken identity, their number 4.

With roughly 20 minutes on the clock, Celtic registered their first real chance of the game. Bredin, back after 3 weeks recuperating on the treatment table following an ankle injury, came off the bench adding some much needed zest to the forward play. Rodrigo, who was having a commanding game in the middle of the park, threaded a defense splitting pass through to Bredin, who looked odds on to score only for their keeper to smoother the opportunity after cutting down the angle.

Shortly after the Celtic opportunity, the battle claimed its first victim. A 50-50 tackle just inside the Celtic half in which both Morales and their right back were fully committed to, left the latter worse off and unable to continue. The crunching tackle demonstrated how much both sides were willing to put on the line, as the game looked to be in danger of boiling over, but Celtic will have hoped that the game ending injury to their right back was not too serious.

Celtic kicked off the second half and looked to build on the solid performance their back line was producing. Stuckmann's ample 6ft 5inch frame was making light work of the Hooligan attack, mopping up the long balls with German like efficiency. The onlooking family proving to be a good omen as Stuckmann's display was fast becoming a man of the match performance.

With the defense unlikely to be breached, Celtic continued to chip away at Hooligan in search of the elusive opening goal, which had it have come, surely would have opened up the play. Midway through the second half, Celtic had two chances in quick succession. First Bredin was released down the left wing, and after getting to the byline squared the ball to the advancing Roberts, who was agonisingly close to breaking the deadlock. Moments later on the opposite wing, Morales manage to square another ball from the byline, to Bredin who unfortunately could not guide his effort goal-wards after a late run to the front post.

For all the chances Celtic were producing, it was arguably Hooligan's who had the most clear cut goal opportunity. With the Celtic defense finally breached, their striker who only had to pull the trigger from 6 yards out, was left bewildered after a last ditch tackle from McCallum saved what looked like a certain goal.

At the opposite end of the field, Celtic had probably their best chance of the game when they were denied what look like a stone wall penalty. Prior, after a twisting and turning run into the box, which left several opposition players in his wake, was eventually cruelly hacked down only for the offense to go unspotted by the perfectly placed referee, who claimed he "didn't see it". The referee's sole indiscretion on what was otherwise a very well officiated game (which I never say) could only have been down to his eyes being crossed after the mesmerizing run of Prior.

After an epic battle between two fiercely contested sides, that saw everything from crunching tackles to inarticulate touchline bickering, in the end both sides will probably be happy with a draw and a share of the spoils. Celtic, may have only picked up 1 point but they claim their first clean sheet of the season and remain unbeaten in the TSSL so far, in what continues to be their best start to a campaign. Attention will now turn to the second fixture of a grueling double header weekend, as Celtic look to defend their League Cup title against Morton.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 2-1 Globe and Mail FC

It was not a game for the purist's and fans of total football, but Celtic did what was necessary, rolled up their sleeves and got the dirty work done to claim all three points and a third straight victory. Sometimes, for its own mortality, the beautiful game has to be politely ignored and kept in a safe place, while the ugly hammer out a result.

The early morning 9am kickoff ensured that a strict curfew was imposed on the Celtic squad the night before, which had the sole purpose of keeping blood alcohol to a coherent, legal level. And, what better way is there of clearing the pallet and avoiding the breathalyser from an opposition player, than a Tim Horton's double double?

So, with the senses heightened by a cheap dose of caffeine, Celtic began to congregate in the state of the art changing facilities lavished upon them by the hospitable Eglinton flats. Which, basically consisted of a room the size of a shoe box that wouldn't have been out of place latched onto a wing of Fort Knox. Catering for a nearly full Celtic squad in the small quarters, after the welcome returns of the likes of McCallum, Monaghan and Roberts, verged on the claustrophobic, but demonstrated Celtic'c continuing pursuit of professionalism, on and off the pitch.

In the TSSL's effort to promote woman's right, Globe and Mail kicked off the half, officiated by the unusual honour of a female ref. First they get the right to vote, then equal pay and now they get to boss around 22 grown men, in what can only be described as a relentless pursuit of repressing the vulnerable male population. Next they will be running for office, or driving articulated lorries, is their no end to this feminist juggernaut?

I will be honest, I bitch and moan at ref's regardless of their gender, race or sexual orientation, probably way more than I should. So, I can safely say that when it comes to lamenting the decision's these whistle blowing totalitarians make, prejudices takes a back seat, their is no escaping my, and many others wrath. Unfortunately for the high shorts wearing lady, basking in her 90 minutes of command, frustration grew through both sides as play was stifled by the constant use of the whistle. Clearly, the whistle would take a pivotal role throughout the match.

With that said, the piecing sound of the ref's whistle could not be put to blame for all of the untidy work on display at the Eglinton flats venue. With the ball bobbling around on the hard, but greasy surface, early chances were few and far between. Celtic were missing the artificially enhanced surface of Cherry Beach, and so was my decision to wear indoor footwear instead of studs.

After a good 20 minutes or so of unadulterated scrapping by both sides, a freekick was awarded to Celtic just inside their own half, down the left channel. As both sides jostled for the most strategic position, Globe and Mail insisted on a high line, looking to play the offside trap. The problem with the offside trap is that it leaves a gaping space behind the back line, which can be exploited should in not be executed in a coordinated fashion. And, unfortunately for Globe and Mail, that's exactly what happened. Teague hugged the defensive line, while Carney chipped over the freekick into the acres of space behind the now redundant offside trap. The Globe and Mail defensive line stood like statues, expecting the linesmen flag, only for it to be non forth coming, leaving Teague through on goal, with only the keeper to beat. With the ball bouncing towards the edge of the box, and the cries of off-side now in vain, Teague took fall advantage lobbing the ball audaciously over the keeper, who was caught in no man's land -1 nil to the hoops, get in!

The goal may have been the first real chance for either side, and you would have assumed that it would give Celtic a good foundation to build on, however any signs of an easy stroll for Celtic were put in to perspective when the referee made a ballsy decision in awarding a penalty against Mercier for handball, 10 minutes from the end of the half. It was one of those types of handball's that are sometimes given, and are other times blissfully ignored. But on this occasion, and with the referee looking to stamp her authority on the game, there was only going to be one outcome.

So, for the second game running Celtic were up against a penalty, which gave Fourie another chance to bring out the rubber legs. However, the Globe and Mail striker kept his focus, and coolly finished from 12 yards, giving Fourie no chance.

Celtic will have felt a little hard done by, but their spirits showed no signs of being dampened moments after the equaliser, when Stuckmann drilled in a curling effort from the edge of the 18 yard box, only to be denied by the girth of the post. On closer inspection the foundations of the goal post looked to have been physically shaken, such was the power behind the Giant Germans effort.

The Second half began with the score level, but it was Globe and Mail who showed early promise and initiative. Celtic were miss placing far too many passes, and were welcoming pressure from their opponents. So, it came some what against the run of play though, when Celtic were given a life line. Tenacious midfield Chilean, Gonzalez managed to dig out a shot inside the box, only for it to be blocked by one of the many bodies occupying his route to goal. However, the ricochet fell kindly to Teague, who was on hand to grab his and Celtic's second, forcing the ball under the keepers body from just outside the six yard box.

It was a bitter blow to Globe and Mail's efforts, but they showed great resolve and continued to dominate much of the play despite trailing for the second time in the game. If it were not for the heroics of the ever present Fourie in goal, Globe and Mail would have surely got themselves back in the game. First, and again after another freekick was awarded, Globe and Mail had Fourie at full stretch, after what seemed like a shot destine for goal was tipped around the post. Next, a cross from the Globe and Mail Left wing turned into a dangerous shot, but Fourie was alert to the danger, and again at full stretch tip it over the bar. This was turning out to be a day for the camera's for Fourie, who must have been wishing McGroarty was there to capture what was developing in to a man of the match display.

At the opposite end of the pitch chances had dried up quicker than the greasy surface being played on. Such was the scarcity of opportunities, Curley decided on taking matters in to his own hands by inexplicably checking an opposition player in the centre circle. Such was the velocity of the collision, that it sounded more like a car crash than a tackle. Curley walked away from the incident without a scratch, while the opposition player rolled around on the floor like a salmon out of water. Clearly the sound was worse than the impact. And fortunately with only 10 minutes left on the clock, the referee was lenient on the sleep deprived Curley, no doubt after a few charmful whispers in her ear, deciding the robust challenge warranted a yellow not a red.

With the final minutes on the clock rapidly ticking away, Celtic were under heavy pressure and desperate for the final whistle. Fourie cemented his man of the match accolade with one more match winning save right at the death. Celtic were unable to clear their lines effectively, and their striker was left with a golden opportunity to claim a draw, only for the striker to blast his shot directly at the well placed Fourie. The danger was desperately averted, and this time the referee's whistle did bring an end to the game and not another freekick, much to Celtic's relief.

It won't go down as the prettiest spectacle ever witnessed, but Celtic dug deep and managed a win, when perhaps in previous season they would have dropped points. Its ugly games like this that can have a huge bearing on outcomes come the end of the season. Manager Tibby will want to play down any premature talk of title credentials, given how early it is in the season, but Celtic have shown signs that they can win, and win ugly when they need to. Hopefully in their next fixture against the some what inappropriately named Hooligans Filmworks, Celtic can get back to some pretty football. It will, however, be a stern test given that Hooligans have only conceded two goals so far this season.

Next game 13th June Hooligans Filmworks v Fionn MacCool's Celtic 9am, venue Eglinton flats (NW)