Fionn MacCool's Celtic: A feast fit for a champion

Just as writers for the Simpson's get lazy when a milestone is reached by hashing episodes together, I thought I would follow suit and compile the most influential parts of Celtic's season, that leads a path from preseason young pretenders to matured TSSL Media League Champions.

AS Rosso Roasted
25th May 2009

AS Rosso were making their debut in the TSSL Media League, but Celtic were not to be in charitable mood, placing a solid maker in the soil on the opening day, after a 5-2 victory, with a hatrick by Teague to boast. The game also marked the first broadcasting of Celtic, after a lucrative deal was struck with local studio, McGroarty Pictures. And, if you haven't become tired of seeing the highlights, the video in all its HD glory can be seen here.

Celtic continued their explosive start to the campaign the following week after the demolition of another new arrival in the TSSL media league, Trinity Park 10-1. The debutantes went on to be the whipping boys of the league, conceding a colossal 135 goals in 18 games.


Fionn MacCool's Celtic 0-3 KU Golden Oldies
20th June 2009

After going 5 games unbeaten in the league, the defeat to KU Golden Oldies brought Celtics sky high ambitions, crashing back down to earth. Such was the sobering effect of the disappointing defeat, I personally took a leave of absence from writing, taking physiological refuge for a week until I had something worthy of writing about. Which, basically explains the lack of match report for this one.

This may have been Celtics first defeat of the season, but it was also possibly the catalyst for motivation later in the season, when Celtic faced KU Golden Oldies in what was a must win game.

Sierra Stars 0-1 Fionn MacCool's Celtic
11th July 2009

After the humbling defeat to KU Golden Oldies, Celtic feeling sorry for themselves went through their roughest patch of the season, following up the 3-0 loss, with a draw against Morton 1-all, and then another defeat to Multinational. Given Celtic's self imposed high standards, training schedules were doubled and diet's strictly monitored, in the lead up to the game against old foe, Sierra Stars. After only losing two games in the league all last season, the pressure was on, and despite what the score line might suggest, this was a cracker.

Suspicion regarding Celtics finishing qualities were immediately raised, from the moment Curley had the nerve to pull out the his new orange/salmon coloured boots from his kit bag. However, after reluctantly switching back to the old familiar, more conservative white boots in the second half, Curley and Celtic soon had something to shout about.

After Celtic were awarded a rare freekick dangerously positioned on the corner of the Sierra box, the set piece was whipped in to the danger area, and Curley, with his shooting boots back on, effortlessly plucked the ball out of the air with his back to goal, pirouetted and ruthlessly smashed home a priceless goal in front of the ecstatic crowd.

The joy was short lived however, only moments after the goal, Celtic were down to 10 men. Mercier, who's must have been effected by the Salmon coloured boots, leaped like one, and tipped over the bar after Fourie was caught off his line.

The drama was not to end their though. The resulting penalty was saved by wobbly legs Fourie, whom would go on to thwart in the region of five more penalties over the course of the season. (citation needed!) The result also saw the start of a phenomenal run for Celtic, which would see them go the rest of the season unbeaten in their 12 remaining games, conceding only 6 goals.

Sierra's Fallen Stars
Fionn MacCool's Celtic 1-1 Zoomer
18 July 2009

With the effects of the Garbage strike in full swing, Celtic unfortunately had to cater for two games in one weekend. The first, was against Zoomer, which was drawn 1-1. And, while from the outside this fixture might look mundane and not worthy of mention, it gained a position amongst the elite for 3 reasons. 1, it gave birth to what would go on to be an infamous quote of the season, "Don't do a Zoomer". 2, after being the better team for virtually the entire game, Celtic were 1-0 down and staring at defeat with only minutes on the clock, until Peter McCann on his debut scored a crucial goal and rescued a invaluable point. 3, Such was the shambolic performance, the resulting, thorough, dressing down speech from manager Tibby, which at times looked like it might bring grown men to a whimpering mess, galvanised Celtic for what would prove to be unrecognizable performance against Sierra Stars the following day.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 3-1 Sierra Stars
19th July 2009

I could go on and on at length about the 3-1 victory over Sierra's Stars, throwing superlatives at it left right and centre, but what has to go down as one of Celtic's most impressive and important wins in living memories, was overshadowed by the way the game the game ended -a left hook to the Ref's rosey red cheek. Some might argue it was a more appropriate alternative to the traditional whistle.

KU Golden Oldies 1-5 Fionn MacCool's Celtic
22nd August 2009

In terms of performance, I personally (though this has nothing to do with the brace I scored, honest!) thought this was Celtic's most complete of the season. Every individual who showed up that day, were up for the challenge, and knew this was the moment of reckoning, when a season can be won or lost. The desire was simply far stronger, and Celtic ruthlessly demolished a side that went on to be Media Cup Champions and runners up to Celtic in the league.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 1-0 Morton
29th August 2009

If the KU game was all about attacking flair, style and taking your chances,this once was all about Celtics defensive qualities, both in terms of thwarting Morton's predictable agricultural tactics, and doing a job at the opposite end of the field, when the forwards couldn't hit a barn door.

In season pasts, 1-nil against old rivals Morton might not have been enough to secure victory, but with Celtics water tight defense, only a lucky goal against the run of play would be Morton's escape.

Celtic failed to break the deadlock, until half way though the second half, when the defense, fittingly, took matters in to their own hands. Prior whipped in a lush cross from the right, and with a devastating drilled header, Stuckmann buried the ball in to the back of the net with the keeper rooted.

In the three fixtures Celtic contested with Morton, only on one occasion did they leak a goal. The last game may not have been the prettiest, but it was another crucial three points gained at the business end of the season. If you can win without playing well, you will always been in with a chance come trophy time. That, I believe is what Sir Alex Ferguson's philosophy is built on -least that's what United have been doing for a couple of decades! I tried to go the how article without a random United jab, I tried.

Multinational 0-1 Fionn MacCool's Celtic
12th September 2009

Again, if you were looking to give some budding youngster the opportunity to experience some top clash finishing, you would have been angrily asking for a refund with this one. A messy spill over from the previous weeks lesson on how not to finish. However, that said, the goal did come from a forward, in a matter of minutes from the kick off. A few mono eye brows were raised when Fitzpatrick's name was selected in the front line, but the silver fox repaid the faith shown in him by Manager Tibby, converting Celtics first chance of the game.

Having been picked out by a cross ball pass from Bredin, which evaded Teague's stride, Fitzpatrick found him self firmly in the whites of the on rushing keeper's eyes, with glory just around the corner. When many others would have had a rush of blood to the head, Fitzpatrick kept his cool, and exquisitely rounded the keeper and finished from such an acute angle he was practically on the byline. Given the importance of the goal, and the quality of the finish, this probably goes down as my vote for goal of the season, but keep that quite from Fitz!

Celtic would go on to win their reaming two games of the season, with comfortable victories over Globe and Mail, and Zoomer, leaving them on a impressive 40 points haul from 18 games. Despite being top of the league by one point, Celtic would have to wait two more agonizing weeks before KU GOlden Oldies played their remaining game in hand, knowing that a draw would be enough to hand them the title.

And, with Morton unwittingly assigned the task of deciding the TSSL Media Champions, turned the season on its head in the dying moments of the game, coming from 2-nil down to rescue a point and hand Celtic the Championship. An unlikely hero for Celtic, but one that will now making future encounters a fraction more bearable.

So, with Celtic lifting the Championship only four years after entering the competition, it was time to once again get the tux out and rub elbows with other fellow equals, at the annual TSSL Champions Banquet.

Expensive Champagne would only be served, and drank from the Champions cup, the food would be served on a silver platter by the white gloved hand of a waiter, that has also been through vigorous "Champion" testing to ensure that only winners served the elite, and glamorous entertainment especially flown in from Vegas would bring the night to a close. In reality, I was the only pillock in a tux, excluding the wait staff, and the food and wine was equal to its $35 a head fee. We didn't stick around to see the local Downsview pop star, as celebrating the Championship over a couple of pints of shandy seemed far more inviting.

Celtic are now already full swing into the indoor winter league, but I am sure we will all look forward to what the summer has to offer. Watch this space.

Players player of the season: Colin Prior
Managers Player of the season: Travis Fourie
Top Goal Scorer: Ray Curley
Goal of the season???......Cast your votes now.

Champions Hangover

Fionn MacCools 1-5 Sierra Stars

Celtic awoke from their League Champions exploits, with a banging hangover and were greeted by a sobering defeat at the hands of old favourite Sierra Stars. I suggest sipping, or rather, gulping Champagne, while reading this, but I will keep it short and sweet.

Minds may have been preoccupied with tuxedo fittings and hunting down a WAG or two for the Champions Ball, but in fairness to Celtic the score line was a tad on the flattering side, as they had started brightly matching their opponents, trailing at half time to a single, exceptional goal by the Sierra number 5, who seemed to dance and skip his way from the half way line, and had the legs to finish. Hats off.

In the second half the game remained equally as competitive and after enjoying a healthy proportion of possession, Celtic were unlucky to concede for the second time. Still, trailing by two goals, and with nothing to lose now, Celtic kept fighting away, and were rewarded after Carney, caused problems for the Sierra defense from a set piece and was fouled just as he leaped for a ball he had no right contesting for.

Carney's determination paid dividends, and Barrero neatly tucked away from the spot, giving Celtic a foot hold back in the game, and enough to unsettle the nerves of Sierra.

Unfortunately the fight back didn't last long, as Sierra soon restored their 2 goal lead, all but extinguishing Celtic's hopes of an unprecedented double at the same time. At this point, with Celtic pushing way up the field in a desperate attempt to put the pressure back on Sierra, the flood gates opened and Sierra scored their fourth, fifth and possibly six (I stop counting after four goals as denial kicks in, saving me from the pain. Who has the will to correct me anyway?) in as many minutes.

And thats how it ended. Rather a low key way to end what has still obviously been a fantastic season for Celtic, but really, who needed that Micky Mouse cup anyway? Once you have won it, the second time would just have been embarrassing, an unsightly stain on your pristine white shirt, when collecting your League Champions medal. Bitter? Nah!

One last word, Celtic will be bidding farewell to Sacha Stuckmann, who will literally leave enormous boots to fill, as he returns to his native Germany. Apparently, Celtic couldn't match the lucrative contract on offer, even with all the League Champions money now billowing out of their coffers. Auf Wiedersehen.

Celtic Crowned CHAMPIONS!!

In a day when the Celtic traveling contingency outnumbered both Morton and KU Golden Oldies supporters 5-1 even though the famous hoops were not on display, history was made as Celtic claimed their first TSSL League title amidst a raucous atmosphere at Eglinton flats, sparking celebrations not seen since Lisbon 67'.

Before we get in to the nitty gritty of this remarkable feat, which hinged on the final game of the season, I would like to go back a couple of weeks when Celtic had two remaining games left of which both had to be won. The first of the two games was against the much fancied fellow title contenders Multinational, whom had beaten Celtic in the first encounter 1-0 and were debutantes in the Media League this term. Celtic were well aware of the importance of the Multinational game, and the objective was crystal clear: Must win. No more room for errors, a drew would not be enough, victory was the only option, clearly, this was the last chance saloon.

Multinational 0-1 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

To add to Celtic's already mammoth task, due to injuries and players going AWOL, the back line was down to the bare bones, and was patched together with what ever reinforcements that manager Tibby could get his hands on. In these types of situations, you need to be able to call on the senior payers and more specifically your captain, to grab the game by the scruff of the neck and drag the team over the line -kicking and screaming if necessary. Luckily for Celtic, their Captain, Jason Mercier heard the call, and yet again put in a barnstorming performance, leading from the back and keeping the Celtic defense water tight for a solid 90+ minutes.

At the opposite end of the field, where again injuries were limiting Tibby's options, Fitzpatrick had been handed a starting birth partnering Teague up front. Whether Tibby's hand had been forced to play Fitzpatrick up front or whether it was sheer divine intuition, Fitzpatrick wasn't hanging around for an answer and seized the opportunity with barely 5 minutes on the clock, with Celtics first attack of the game.

Multinational had been controlling the tempo of the game and were confidently stroking the ball around with short intricate passes. However, against the run of play, Celtic managed to muster an attack down the left wing through Bredin. The rangy left wingers gallop had left him deep in Multinational territory with both Teague and Fitzpatrick screaming for the square ball. Bredin obliged, with a pass that look like it was intended for Teague but strayed behind the Englishman's run. However, the pass deceived not only Teague, but the rest of the Multinational back line, splitting it in two leaving Fitzpatrick clean through on the overlap. With the goal keeper rushing off his line, Fitzpatrick skillfully (not a word I use lightly!) rounded the keeper, and then from the most acute of angles rolled the ball over the line, leaving the trailing goalkeeper and defender in his wake. This was a huge life line, and it proved that Fitzpatrick had a healthy appetite when it came to the big occasion. The importance of the goal was up there with his match winner in the cup final the previous year, but this time, and much to the relief of the bench, Fitzpatrick kept his shirt on, opting against the explicit triple X celebrations.

After the Goal Multinational continued to dominate possession, but for all the slick passing on display failed to create any real end product. There was, however a sense that should they continue to boss proceedings in the second half, it would only be a matter of time before the possession would yield goals. A threat Tibby recognised all to well, as he look to reinvigorate Celtic during the half time team talk.

Sitting on the one goal advantage and soaking up the pressure was a risky game, and in the second half Celtic finally crept from out of their defensive shell and began knocking on Multinationals door. First up, Curley came close after been put through by an instinctive through ball from Barrero. Curley latched on to the pass, and with the keeper again looking to close the angle, deftly lobbed the ball over his advances only to see the ball pass inch's wide of the up right.

With the game becoming more open as both teams looked for the decisive second goal, Multinational managed to register their first shot on target, but Fourie was equal to it, tipping over the bar from close range.

As the minutes ticked away, the game was drawing to angonising close with both teams having great chances. With the Multinational back line pushing up close to the half way line they were prone to passes in behind. And first to exploit this was Lucero, after being put clean through only to be denied one on one with the goalkeeper. Next up Teague, with almost an identical chance as Lucero was foiled by the keeper, who at this point was keeping his side in the game. Teague then had an another opportunity to seal Multinationals fate only for a last ditch tackle to keep them in with a shout.

Much to the relief of Teague, and owing a huge debt to the magnificent Celtic back line a clean was kept, and Celtic had achieved the must win they set out for.

Zoomer FC 0-5 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

The objective in this one: "Don't do a Zoomer."

Although the score line would suggest an even more entertaining game then the Multinational match, do not be fooled by the books cover. Zoomer, with little to play for than bragging rights to middle table mediocrity, had about as much motivation for this encounter as I do for mental arithmetic. Which, in terms of numbers, equated to 9 or possibly ten men -what difference does it make- sheepishly displaying a 4-3-1 formation that was never going to trouble Celtic.

At least that's what we thought. Perhaps, knowing Celtics Achilles heel, which is play badly and Celtic will drop to your standard was Zoomer's cunning plan. What ever the reason, Celtic managed to make hard work out of the depleted Zoomer, and it wasnt until the second half, with the Zoomer tiring, that Celtic really drove home their numerical advantage.

Highlights of the game included, a brace by Curley, who would have pinched a hatrick had it not been for Teague sabotaging a goal bound effort, clearing the bar from a yard out with a dismal header, such was his level of desperation to get on the score sheet. Although, who really needs to hear about a Curley hatrick anyway?! Your welcome.

The other key moments came from, Bredin who managed to get on the score sheet as well, bringing his drought to an end, after being put thorugh with a punched like pass from Teague which has suspciions of being off offside. Prior drove in a clean finish after finding his range, and, Bredin retruned the favour to Teague with a square ball inside the box, which Teague tucked away, much to his relief.

So, in terms of quality, the two games were at opposite ends of the spectrum. But, the points had been secured and now Celtic had to sit and wait for two agonising weeks, while KU finished up their schedule, whilst knowing that KU at least had to draw one of their two remaining gmaes for Celtic to then win on goal difference. After winning 3-1 in their penultimate game, the worst was feared as the opposition for their last game was our old foe Morton, who similar to Zoomer had little to play for as their final league position was all but set.

And, that theory at least at half time, with Morton 2-0 down would seem like a sound bet. However, from the Morse code updates I was receiving, depsite being two goals down, Morton had played the better football in the first half. And, they continued the second in much the same vain. It would, however, take until 10 minutes from time to give the Celtic traveling suporters some hope to cling to.

After being two goals to the good the KU manager, in his naivety, made a quadruple substitution including the goalkeeper. And it would be the change in keeper, that ultimately would lead to their down fall. After what looked like a routine save found its way in to the net through the keepers butter like fingers, Morton sensed a comeback. And, on 90 minutes, with Celtic's hopes of league title glory in the balance, Morton delivered the shattering blow to KU, via a freekick awarded just outside the box, that smacked the post but fell kindly to Morton who duly tapped home.

Who needs the Premier league? Pfff! You could not ask for a more dramatic ending to a fantastic season, which finally sees Celtic get their hands on the elusive League title, which slipped through their grips this time last season, ironically due to a no-show from KU. Bitter sweet.
I could ramble on, and continue to throw superlatives on what has been a season full of highs and lows, but their is little more satisfying than kicking back and gazing at the league table, Celtic atop.

Club GP W D L GF GA +/- Pts Fionn MacCool's Celtic 18 12 4 2 51 12 39 40 KU Golden Oldies 18 12 4 2 55 29 26 40 Sierra Stars 18 12 2 4 52 19 33 38 Multinational Crew 18 9 5 4 48 21 27 32 Morton 18 9 4 5 55 26 29 31 Zoomer FC 18 6 4 8 32 39 -7 22 Hooligan Filmworks 18 5 4 9 32 28 4 19 Globe and Mail FC 18 5 2 11 36 40 -4 17 AS Rosso 18 5 1 12 35 55 -20 16 Trinity Park FC 18 0 0 18 8 135 -127 0

Fionn MacCools Celtic 2-0 Hooligan

Despite the scorching, desert like conditions, Celtic remained cool in the last chance salon, deservedly picking up all 3 points against Hooligans Filmworks, after a bizarre 40 yarder and an unfamiliar hero securing victory at the death.

We are now in the business part of the season, and following last weeks disappointing draw, the margin for error could not be tighter as Celtic sit at the league's summit with only 2 points separating them from 4th place.

Hooligan, on the back of a defeat were also looking to put last weeks result behind them, but Celtic were not in charitable mood and found themselves on the back foot from the start. Celtic were leading from their impregnable back line which was arrogantly toying with Hooligan, like kittens playing with a ball of string. The Celtic defense has now gone an incredible 405 minutes without leaking a goal, which, if I had archival data, would surely prove to be a record. Perhaps resident statistician, Fitzpatrick will be able to verify??

It was at the opposite end of the field where Celtic need to improve upon though, goals were needed, and manager Tibby decided to reshuffle his pack bringing in McCallum to partner Curley in a bid to get Celtic re-firing on all 4 cylinders.

Following the early pressure, Celtic didn't have to wait too long for their first effort on goal. After a mazy run, cutting in from the right, Curley squared to Gonzales just inside the box, who flashed a shot goalwards, which Hooligan's unfamiliar keeper just about managed to tip round the post in not so convincing fashion.

Celtic continued to press, confidently knocking the ball about with small interchanging passes, playing the attractive football instilled in them from Mowbray inspired Tibby. For all the sexy football on display, Celtic would finally get their reward from a set piece following a freekick conceded about 40 yards out down the Celtic left. Box to box midfielder, Prior stepped up to the plate, in what was assumed would be a routine chip in to the box. Prior, having already spotted possible frailties in the Hooligan keeper had different ideas however, and from all of 40 yards, saw the keeper off his line, and audaciously lobbed the ball over the scrambling keeper.

The second half continued much in the same vain as the first, with Celtic bossing proceedings with slick passes starting from the back. Hooligan were pinned in to their own half, and could only relying on the occasional counter attack as small relief.

For all their pressure though, Celtic were unable to finish the game off and get the much needed second goal to ease nerves. The slender 1 goal lead remained intact, and eventually all the points were secured in the closing exchanges of the game courtesy of a sublime finish by Roberts. A finish any forward would have been happy with.

Having been released down the left channel, in behind the Hooligan defense, Roberts still had plenty of work to do, 40 yards from the glory that beckoned. Roberts' pace took his surging run into the unfamiliar territory of the oppositions box, and having decided not to square the ball to the on rushing reinforcements, bored down on goal and drilled a left foot shot into the bottom right corner.

Que the celebrations.....!

"Number 1" was the cry from Roberts as he ran off in jubilation like a dog let off a leash for the first time, and is still probably running loose across Cherry Beach as you read this. Hopefully, "number 1" will soon become 2, 3 and more, now Roberts has opened his account.

With Multinational, KU Golden Oldies and another team that shouldn't be in the league, all snapping at their heals, Celtic will likely have to win their 4 remaining games in order to stay on top of the heap, come September when champions are crowned. This will be Celtic's toughest test yet, with two of their remaining four games against title rivals Mutlinational and KU, leaving the TSSL media league delicately poised. Don't take your eyes off this for a second.

Club	GP	W	D	L	GF	GA	+/-	Pts
Fionn MacCool's Celtic	14	8	4	2	39	11	28	28
Multinational Crew	14	8	4	2	42	14	28	28
KU Golden Oldies	12	8	3	1	38	15	23	27
Sierra Stars	13	8	2	3	34	15	19	26
Morton	14	7	3	4	46	21	25	24
Zoomer FC	13	5	4	4	23	23	0	19
Globe and Mail FC	14	4	2	8	32	29	3	14
Hooligan Filmworks	14	3	4	7	22	23	-1	13
AS Rosso	14	4	0	10	25	41	-16	12
Trinity Park FC	14	0	0	14	5	114	-109	0

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 5-0 AS Rosso

Celtic have rediscovered the rich vain of form enjoyed at the start of the season, but the comfortable 5-nil win over AS Rosso was overshadowed by the revelation that, after last weeks debacle in which a Sierra player ended the game by punching the referee instead of the more traditional 3 whistle blast, was once again plying his trade only a week later.

How on earth did he manage to dodge the disciplinary punishment we all had expected? Apparently, as the referee's official match report did not include a red card for the assault, effectively the punch never existed, meaning the Sierra player walks scot-free. Which, is basically the equivalent defence of getting away with day light robbery in front of 22 witnesses, due to a clerical error.

Also, in what is arguably even more stunning was the referee's assistant blatant denial about the event when questioned by Manager Tibby. It must be reassuring for any budding referee out there, to know you have no support from your fellow assistant when punches are thrown. Would his story but quite so non committal, had Fourie not be protecting the referee from an imminent beating??

So while the TSSL sit uncomfortably on the fence, picking a t the splinters, lets turn to matters on the match. AS Rosso started the game with only 10 men, but as so often we have seen throughout the season, Celtic struggled to break down a stubborn side determined to camp in their own half, intent only to counter attack.

This strategy, although risky, was not surprising given AS Rosso's numerical disadvantage and Celtic's depth in squad. However, when you invite so much pressure in your own half it is only a matter of time before the bridge is breached. And, despite the referee's assistant constant flagging for offside, (passive aggressive behavior from the pre-match tough questioning) Celtic eventually managed to cater for the questionable flag raising, when Curley was released down the left hand side with only the keeper to beat. With the on rushing AS Rosso keeper closing down the angle, Curley decided against the early shot, and with quick feet outrageously dummied the goal keeper, sending him the wrong way, which left an easy open net for Curley to knock home.

Celtic continued to pressure for a second goal before hand time, but were mostly frustrated by AS Rosso defensive tactics. Eventually, around 10 minutes before time, AS Rosso were strengthened by reinforcements giving them their 11th man. The extra man gave them renewed confidence, and AS Rosso began to creep away from the defensive tactics, which worked in Celtic's favour as their was now more space to exploit in the AS Rosso back line. So, the half ended with Celtic the stronger, and unfortunate not to take in a 2 goal lead, after creating 2 or 3 chances before the break.

The second half continued where the first had left off, with Celtic setting the pace and creating the better chances. Celtic were utilising the strength of depth in the squad with McCann coming on for Teague before the fist half ended and had already threatened with a well placed shot beyond the keeper which was trickling in to the bottom corner only to be cleared off the line. McCann proved that he was taking to the TSSL media league like a duck to water however, when he scored Celtic's second and his second in as many games for the hoops.

Celtic were now in full control and it would not be long before the third followed. Teague, was needlessly hacked down in the box, with has back to goal, which gave the referee little choice but to point to point to the spot. Teague was keen to take the penalty, with the hope of ending a goal draught, but the reliable Prior was in uncharitable mood, and continued his 100% penalty conversion with another expertly taken spot kick.

Winning the penalty kick would be Teague's last contribution before a 2 week sabbatical in Europe designed to get his head in order. However, rumours have been rife that Teague may be looking for new pastures, after being spotted in the near vicinity of the Parc des Princes, home of Paris Saint Germain. If a transfer does materialise, a return to GDL Athletic, Teague's former stomping ground, does however look the more likely destination.

Celtic's fourth came after Stuckmann finally made use of his 6ft 6" frame from a corner. The virtually impossible to defend against Stuckmann, rose to meet the corner with a commanding header, but was denied by a good save from the AS Rosso keeper. However the keeper could only palm the ball back in to Stuckmann's path, who, with a second bite of the cherry smashed home the half volley.

Celtic wrapped up proceedings with the 5th from Immaishvilli. After beating the offside trap, Immaishvilli was clean through down the left channel, and kept his composure coolly slotting the ball under the keeper from just inside the box.

Due to "technical difficulties", which suspiciously coincided with Teague's trip to Europe, unfortunately Sport Bullet was unable to report on Celtic's second game of the weekend against minnows Trinity Park, where a high scoring victory was predicted. Until the technical problems are resolved, which is estimated to take an unforgivable two weeks at the earliest, Sport Bullet will be relying on morse code for results. With regards to the Trinity Park game, we can confirm that Celtic met the bookies expectation with a 9-0 thrashing.

Celtic now go in to a crucial part of the season, having hit great form just at the right moment. However, they are now dependant on other teams dropping points, in order to claim the Media League title. In the mean time, Celtic will concentrate on their game and ensure they do all they can to apply the pressure on league pace setters Multinational.

Sierra's Fallen Stars

I said tickets for this one were selling fast, and if you failed to be one of the lucky few who managed to get hold of one, you missed out on a game that had everything, and then some more thrown in for good measure. But first, I will quickly and painlessly call to order that other game on the weekend against Zoomer FC. It will be short and suit, as we all know that the result was below par and Celtic more than made amends the following day. Plus, I am dying to divulge the Sierra meltdown, which is going to take some cleaning up.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 1-1 Zoomer FC

In a nut shell, Celtic dominated for lengthy periods of the game, but could not muster a cutting edge to see off the challenge of Zoomer. And, as so often is the case when a side dominates play, it only takes one lucky punt in to the box for the inevitable to happen. After a solid Celtic first half, 10 minutes in to the second half, Celtic gave away a penalty. Unfortunately there were to be no heroics from Fourie this week, who must be getting tired of the weekly penalty practice.

After the penalty, Celtic continued to frustrate and it took until 3 minutes from time for a point to be rescued and an embarrassing defeat avoided. In a game that drew few positives, Celtic will take some heart from debutant McCann, who finally broke the deadlock with a neat left foot finish in to the bottom left corner, after being put through by a surging Curley run.

And that is how the game ended. Manager Tibby said what needed to be said after the game, and the Mike Bassett, "England Manager" inspired speech must have paid off, as Celtic looked indistinguishable the following day. So on to the Sierra debacle......

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 3-1 Sierra Stars

Where on earth do you begin?? Even Winston Wolf would have problems cleaning this mess up.

The picture to the left is probably a slight exaggeration of how the game may have ended, so I guess we should start with the free flowing football, that, to be fair both teams displayed when the game kicked off.

After the game against Zoomer, Celtic once again had to step up to the plate, as anything but a win would have left all of last weeks hard work against Sierra and the season in tatters.

From the moment the referee got the mouth watering occasion started there was a sense of urgency, and straight away you knew it was going to be an open game, as both teams threw caution to the wind in search of the win. Sierra were after revenge and Celtic were after the double over their arch rivals.

In the open exchanges Sierra began to apply the pressure, as their busy number 24, who's relentless running had Celtic on the back foot. As Sierra looked to push further up the field, and pin Celtic into the own half, the threat of the counter attack in behind the ever growing Sierra defense looked increasingly likely, especially with ability Celtic possessed in midfield.

So, it was little surprise that, with the Sierra defensive line close to the halfway line, a clever chip from midfield released Teague down the Celtic right Channel. Teague, hugging the touchline knocked the ball past the covering defender and showed him a clean set of heels. With the Sierra defense know breached, Teague continued his run in to the box, and with the keeper advancing squared the ball to the open Imnaishvili, who needed only one touch to bury the opportunity low and hard in to the bottom left corner.

Despite the opening early goal, the pattern of the open game remained, with Sierra enjoying a lot of the ball, and Celtic ready to pounce at every opportunity. Unfortunately, the Sierra possession paid off only minutes after the Celtic opener. The ball was lost in midfield and after appeals to the ref for an infringement fell on deaf, soon to be bruised ears, the Sierra midfielder continued his mazy run in to the heart of the Celtic defense, and then let fly from the edge of the box, with an unstoppable effort that flew in to the top left corner. Sometimes, you just have to accept a decent goal, and Celtic remained positive despite the set back.

The Sierra goal would soon be forgotten, as Celtic insured they would end the half with their noses in front. Another clever chipped ball from midfield in behind the Sierra defense had Teague chasing a 50-50 with the Goalkeeper. Teague just managed to get a slight touch ahead of the keeper, but was wiped out for his troubles and sent crashing to the ground. The keeper making the rash decision, that if he missed the ball he would at least take out the man, as the goal would have been wide open. With Teague decked, reluctantly, and I hear, after pondering what seemed like a stone wall penalty, the referee eventually pointed to the spot.

Prior, this time managed to fight off the enthusiastic advances of Fourie, and patiently lined up his penalty. With the Celtic nerves on edge, Prior remained cool and ensured Teague's injury would not be in vain, effortlessly stoking the ball in the bottom left, sending the keeper the opposite way.

The second half continued with both teams willing to keep the game open, but slowly and surely the tide began to turn in Celtic's favour, as Sierra grew increasingly frustrated. As the indiscipline started to seep in to Sierra's play, more and more freekicks were being awarded to Celtic which only served to perpetuate Sierra's "anger" issues on and off the field.

With the game reaching boiling point, and the restless Sierra support taking over the Celtic section, Sierra surged forward with the number 24 going on another penetrating run. However, the dazzling run would end in rather more subdued fashion, as the midfielder decided to dive when a well timed Celtic tackle came flying in. The ref didn't fall for the play acting, but Sierra at this point now feeling aggrieved, were incensed, so decided to take matters in their own hands and pressed the self destruct button.

From the clearing Celtic defense the loose ball was picked up by Prior in midfield. And, before he had time to gather his bearings, a reckless lunge came flying in from Sierra leaving Prior in a heap. This was possibly one of the worst looking challenges I have ever seen, and was the type of tackle that could end a career. Fortunately for Prior though, limbs were left intact, but the already under pressure ref had little choice but to send off the Sierra player.

So, with Sierra already furious after what they felt was a freekick on the edge of the box, was deemed a dive, now had to deal with being a man down only seconds later. Which, in terms of the volatile Sierrra temperament, was like pouring petrol onto an already out of control blaze.

The Sierra players surrounded the ref, berating him on what was a clear sending off. The Sierra left back though, took it one step further, and must have been mimicking the sort of language his supporters were using, as astonishingly after the dust had some what settled, the ref also gave him his marching orders, leaving Sierra down to 9 men.

With Sierra facing an uphill struggle with two men sent off, they were unable to clear their lines, and it was only a matter of time before more controversy came their way. Curley received possession in the box after Sierra had failed to clear, and was again hacked down, leaving the ref no choice but to issue another penalty to the hoops. Which, in machine like fashion Prior dispatched, claiming his second of the game.

The game was very near to a finish, but you could see shades of the infamous ugly brawl that occurred 2 years ago bubbling at the surface. The concept of football had been all but deserted by Sierra, and their only mission now was to hurt as many players as possible. On two occasions, the Sierra number 10 slapped Chisholm, who incredibly managed to restrain himself and continued to mark the player out of the game.

The Sierra number 10 though would eventually pick a fight that you can never win. After yet another Celtic player was on the receiving end of wayward tackle, this time it being Bredin's turn, Sierra surrounded the referee again, and the number 10 decided that as he had had no luck getting a rise out of Chisholm, why not try the ref? So, in what I can only describe as the worst moment I have witnessed, the Sierra number 10 punch's the ref. Granted, it was never enough to send the shaken up ref to the canvas but this was inexplicable, and it sent the game into a complete and utter farce.

The game was abandoned with probably only a couple of minutes on the clock, with the referee calling the Celtic team to the centre circle to give the final whistle, before taking refuge behind Fourie with the Sierra entourage looking for blood.

I am sure their are plenty of bad tackles, punches thrown and profanities that I have missed, but what I can be sure of is, Celtic won 3-1 deservedly with outstanding performances throughout the team. And, in what is arguable even more of achievement, is that despite all the chaos and provocation surrounding them, Celtic kept their cool as the game boiled over, leaving their dignity, pride and season intact. The disgraced Sierra on the other hand, will await what will have to be serious disciplinary action from the TSSL.

Fionn MacCools Celtic 0-1 Multinational Crew

As you can probably guess from the delay in writing this match report, defeat has dealt me a heavy dose of writers block. So, as I have painfully revisited last weekends second league defeat of the season, and gracefully regurgitated the evidence for your reading pleasure, I ask, no I demand, you read every last word, and suffer the same heart ache.

As the anthem says, "You'll Never Walk Alone", which, for the purpose of this report, I interpret as you'll never suffer alone. Basically, I suffer, you suffer! Too dramatic??

Blue in the face. That is the condition, that everyone has been diagnosed with when referring to Celtics, habitual Achilles heal so far this season -Injuries and absentees. Abbreviated to IAA's which doesn't quite have the same ring to it as WAG's.

Generic models aside, IAA's, obviously have caused problems since the opening day of the season. However, now we are playing the top sides of the TSSL, and the lack of depth is now even more apparent. But, lamenting the problem does not bring in fresh reserves. But, due to my sources which have close connections to the upper echelons of the Celtic hierarchy, I am assured that plans are a foot to bring in some reinforcements before the transfer window closes. Do we even have a transfer window?? I don't know, but dramatization sounds good!

Before kick off, Celtic were dealt the frustrating news that M.o.M. from last week, Sascha Stuckmann, would have to pull out last minute, after extensive rehabilitation on his vulnerable sense of balance failed. Which meant Celtic were without arguably the best defensive pairing in the league, with Mercier also unable to make the tie.

However, even though on paper, it was the defense that looked most thin on the ground it would be the opposite end of the field, where goals were drying up quicker than wet cement on the unfinished South Africa World Cup Venues.

Multinational Crew, given that they are new to the league, are a relative unknown in terms of their title credentials. But what we did already have knowledge of was their willingness to get the ball on the deck, and play some attractive football. Their stubbornness to play on the ground, from the back was almost their undoing at least 3 times in the same amount of opening minutes.

Curley, back from a two week sabbatical, was chomping at the bit, in anticipation to get on the field and start knocking bones around. And, the uncontrollable enthusiasm was rewarded only moments into the half. A clever ball over the top of the indecisive Multinational defense, saw Curley racing clean through on goal, with only the old school sponsored, AST computers Villa jersey to beat. Unfortunately, The processing time of the quick thinking Multinational Goalkeeper was lightening, and he rushed off his line, cut down the considerable angle, and smothered Curley's shot.

The golden opportunity for Celtic to strike first blood was ignored by Multinational, as their defense continued to be indecisive, but again Celtic lacked the cut throat finishing to take advantage.

With the scores all square at the end of the half, Celtic could take some comfort from the numerous chances they created it the opening minutes, and that the defense looked water tight at the back. They did, however, know that the chances they were gifted might be addressed in the Multinational half time talk, and that notably the centre back most guilty of being indecisive, did not reappear for the second half.

With the beginning of the second half, Celtic brought on Teague, who was making his first appearance since his injury against Morton in the Cup last month. It was not to be the glorious return to play and form Teague had hoped, however, as too much time observing the missed opportunities from the sidelines had rubbed off on the token Englishmen. Just as the first half had started, the second began in the same vain.

Winger Bredin, had been released down the left flank, and crossed in a peach of cross to the unmarked Teague, who could only direct his header over the bar from about 12 yards out. The forgiving Bredin, would later defend the miss, citing that it was slightly behind Teague's reach, but in truth Teague knows he should have done better, and the old football cliche "head it down" rings loudly in the ears.

There are only so many times you can get away with not burying the chances thrown your way, and eventually those misses came back to haunt Celtic. After initially coming from an offside position, the Multinational left winger was played in with a ball over the top of the Celtic defense. The left winger, now very much alive and "active" exploited the space in behind the defense, and chipped a ball to the open man in the 6 yard box. With the Celtic defense drawn to the left winger, the Multinational striker could not miss, and cruelly obliged, poking the ball past the helpless Fourie.

There had been warning signs for Celtic, but this was a cruel blow, as Multinational, for all their attractive play (possibly the sexiest football I have witnessed in the TSSL) hadn't really created that many opportunities.

1-0 was unfortunately how it ended. And while 1-1 would have been a fair result, football has no biased when it comes to being fair. Its a bitter result to swallow, and now Celtic have a huge task if they are to drag themselves back in to the title challenge. Celtic need to rediscover their cutting edge in front of goal pronto, as they have now gone an astonishing four games, only registering once from the penalty spot, taken by Keeper Fourie. A sobering statistic, and one I hope that serves to reignite the fire in the Celtic belly.

Fionn MacCools Celtic 1-0 Morton

If the previous game against Hooligan was a war, Sunday's TSSL League cup game with Morton was the Atom bomb. Going in to the encounter, with absentees, injuries and a general Sunday fatigue feeling, Celtic knew it would be a physical encounter but this surpassed any prior expectations by a good twisted limb or two.

At 6.15pm, location Eglinton Flats South East Field, where Celtic have enjoyed many a cup victory in glories years past, the black clouds rolled in and a dark sinister mood swept through the Celtic squad as they prepared for battle. Final good byes to loved one's were emotionally embraced, as a return from the field was no guarantee, and Celtic took to their trenches ready to lock horns with the enemy.

Celtic's defense, while absent of the much needed commanding presence of Stuckmann, had a ready made replacement in the returning Mercier, able to step up to the plate and refortify the back line. Also, Celtic were graced with the defensive presence of Chisholm, whom had gone AWOL on Saturday following a rumored heavy drinking session the night before. The antics were heavily documented by both kiss and tell cougar's and the Saturday Tabloid papers, making Nicklas Bendtner look like a light weight in comparison.

While the storm brewed overhead and threatened ominously, Celtic drew a line in the sand (yes there was actual sand on the bobbly pitch) and dug their trenches, looking to gain and protect territory at every opportunity. However, Celtic's reserves were soon tested, as little over 10 minutes on the clock, Cetlic medics had to deal with the first fallen comrade. Teague, who naively tried to show some finesse in the proceedings by turning an opposition player, was rudely brought crashing down to earth, proving there was no place for fancy tricks as far as Morton were concerned. A twisted knee was dished out to Teague for his trouble, which left the Striker on the floor screaming like a girl in sheer agony. The initial pain, which could probably have been heard from Eglinton flats NW pitch, may not have caused as much damage as first feared, but it will be a race to be ready for the next league fixture.

If the Morton tactics were not already abundantly obvious, they were now crystal clear. Instead of playing anything close to eye catching flowing football, Morton reverted to hard nosed tactics, kicking lumps out of players, not ball, suffocating any decent Celtic play. Celtic kept their discipline though, and didn't lower themselves to the Morton standard, patiently looking for openings with the now rotated front line of Curley, Imnaishvili and player Manager Tibby.

The First half ended with both sides only managing one decent effort on goal. First, Monaghan whipped a ball across the face of the goal after great work down the right flank, then, at the opposite end a Morton set piece struck from all of 30yards threatened to creep inside the post, had it not been for the alert Fourie who tipped the effort expertly around the post. For all the Morton possession, their intimidating one dimensional tactics (I'm not bitter eh?) were failing to yield any significant return, which only served to motivate Celtic during the half time interval.

Celtic, steadied by the calming words of manager Tibby's half time speech, were confident that if they stuck to their game plan, opportunities would come their way and Morton would only grow in frustration. And, the second half proved just that.

Both McCallum and Bredin were finding plenty of joy down the Celtic left wing, mostly due to the gaping space their gobby right back was leaving, as he spent much of his time camped in the Celtic half. Between the Celtic pair, on at least two occasions dangerous balls sped across the six yard box, with Tibby unfortunate not to apply the finishing touch to one of them. Had the crosses favoured his right foot, surely the Albion fanatic would have had his second goal of the season.

However, any feelings of a missed opportunity were soon dispelled, after Morton failed to recognise the danger the Celtic left wing was proving to be. Chisholm, deep in the Morton half with his back to goal, took one touch to pivot and then with his second curled in a lush cross right in to the danger area, which was just begging to be put it to the back of the net. Bredin, who had been threatening to score all weekend, duly accepted Chisholm's exquisite invitation nodding the ball past the helpless Rooney look-a-like, Morton Goal Keeper.

Morton were physically shell shocked, and while they still enjoyed a fair amount of possession, looked incapable of mustering up the kind of opportunity that was going to threaten a second consecutive clean sheet for the hoops.

Eventually a ceasefire was called by the diplomat with the whistle, and Celtic came off the field buoyed by a first leg victory. Morton will be looking for revenge in the return leg, and Celtic will once again have to step up their game if they wish to keep their defense of League Cup intact. YNWA

Hooligan Filmworks 0-0 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

The score line may have read nil-nil but to conclude that it was a bore draw would be a huge disservice to the amount of effort put in by both teams, in this battling encounter between two of the leagues more physical sides.

Given previous games against Hooligans Filmworks (formerly Core FC) have usually been separated by the odd goal, and the fact that Hooligans have only conceded 2 goals so far this season in the TSSL, the game was always going to be a tight affair.

Hooligans got the action underway and it was not long before the sobering brutalities of war kicked in. Curley's now routine habit of arriving 15 minutes after the game has started regardless of what time the Kick off is, proving the Sheriff's financial penalties may have to be revised, was introduced to the action and took little time to rustle some feathers. With their number 16 firmly set in his cross hair, hand bags were drawn off the ball, leaving the ref no option but to book both Curley and, in a case of mistaken identity, their number 4.

With roughly 20 minutes on the clock, Celtic registered their first real chance of the game. Bredin, back after 3 weeks recuperating on the treatment table following an ankle injury, came off the bench adding some much needed zest to the forward play. Rodrigo, who was having a commanding game in the middle of the park, threaded a defense splitting pass through to Bredin, who looked odds on to score only for their keeper to smoother the opportunity after cutting down the angle.

Shortly after the Celtic opportunity, the battle claimed its first victim. A 50-50 tackle just inside the Celtic half in which both Morales and their right back were fully committed to, left the latter worse off and unable to continue. The crunching tackle demonstrated how much both sides were willing to put on the line, as the game looked to be in danger of boiling over, but Celtic will have hoped that the game ending injury to their right back was not too serious.

Celtic kicked off the second half and looked to build on the solid performance their back line was producing. Stuckmann's ample 6ft 5inch frame was making light work of the Hooligan attack, mopping up the long balls with German like efficiency. The onlooking family proving to be a good omen as Stuckmann's display was fast becoming a man of the match performance.

With the defense unlikely to be breached, Celtic continued to chip away at Hooligan in search of the elusive opening goal, which had it have come, surely would have opened up the play. Midway through the second half, Celtic had two chances in quick succession. First Bredin was released down the left wing, and after getting to the byline squared the ball to the advancing Roberts, who was agonisingly close to breaking the deadlock. Moments later on the opposite wing, Morales manage to square another ball from the byline, to Bredin who unfortunately could not guide his effort goal-wards after a late run to the front post.

For all the chances Celtic were producing, it was arguably Hooligan's who had the most clear cut goal opportunity. With the Celtic defense finally breached, their striker who only had to pull the trigger from 6 yards out, was left bewildered after a last ditch tackle from McCallum saved what looked like a certain goal.

At the opposite end of the field, Celtic had probably their best chance of the game when they were denied what look like a stone wall penalty. Prior, after a twisting and turning run into the box, which left several opposition players in his wake, was eventually cruelly hacked down only for the offense to go unspotted by the perfectly placed referee, who claimed he "didn't see it". The referee's sole indiscretion on what was otherwise a very well officiated game (which I never say) could only have been down to his eyes being crossed after the mesmerizing run of Prior.

After an epic battle between two fiercely contested sides, that saw everything from crunching tackles to inarticulate touchline bickering, in the end both sides will probably be happy with a draw and a share of the spoils. Celtic, may have only picked up 1 point but they claim their first clean sheet of the season and remain unbeaten in the TSSL so far, in what continues to be their best start to a campaign. Attention will now turn to the second fixture of a grueling double header weekend, as Celtic look to defend their League Cup title against Morton.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 2-1 Globe and Mail FC

It was not a game for the purist's and fans of total football, but Celtic did what was necessary, rolled up their sleeves and got the dirty work done to claim all three points and a third straight victory. Sometimes, for its own mortality, the beautiful game has to be politely ignored and kept in a safe place, while the ugly hammer out a result.

The early morning 9am kickoff ensured that a strict curfew was imposed on the Celtic squad the night before, which had the sole purpose of keeping blood alcohol to a coherent, legal level. And, what better way is there of clearing the pallet and avoiding the breathalyser from an opposition player, than a Tim Horton's double double?

So, with the senses heightened by a cheap dose of caffeine, Celtic began to congregate in the state of the art changing facilities lavished upon them by the hospitable Eglinton flats. Which, basically consisted of a room the size of a shoe box that wouldn't have been out of place latched onto a wing of Fort Knox. Catering for a nearly full Celtic squad in the small quarters, after the welcome returns of the likes of McCallum, Monaghan and Roberts, verged on the claustrophobic, but demonstrated Celtic'c continuing pursuit of professionalism, on and off the pitch.

In the TSSL's effort to promote woman's right, Globe and Mail kicked off the half, officiated by the unusual honour of a female ref. First they get the right to vote, then equal pay and now they get to boss around 22 grown men, in what can only be described as a relentless pursuit of repressing the vulnerable male population. Next they will be running for office, or driving articulated lorries, is their no end to this feminist juggernaut?

I will be honest, I bitch and moan at ref's regardless of their gender, race or sexual orientation, probably way more than I should. So, I can safely say that when it comes to lamenting the decision's these whistle blowing totalitarians make, prejudices takes a back seat, their is no escaping my, and many others wrath. Unfortunately for the high shorts wearing lady, basking in her 90 minutes of command, frustration grew through both sides as play was stifled by the constant use of the whistle. Clearly, the whistle would take a pivotal role throughout the match.

With that said, the piecing sound of the ref's whistle could not be put to blame for all of the untidy work on display at the Eglinton flats venue. With the ball bobbling around on the hard, but greasy surface, early chances were few and far between. Celtic were missing the artificially enhanced surface of Cherry Beach, and so was my decision to wear indoor footwear instead of studs.

After a good 20 minutes or so of unadulterated scrapping by both sides, a freekick was awarded to Celtic just inside their own half, down the left channel. As both sides jostled for the most strategic position, Globe and Mail insisted on a high line, looking to play the offside trap. The problem with the offside trap is that it leaves a gaping space behind the back line, which can be exploited should in not be executed in a coordinated fashion. And, unfortunately for Globe and Mail, that's exactly what happened. Teague hugged the defensive line, while Carney chipped over the freekick into the acres of space behind the now redundant offside trap. The Globe and Mail defensive line stood like statues, expecting the linesmen flag, only for it to be non forth coming, leaving Teague through on goal, with only the keeper to beat. With the ball bouncing towards the edge of the box, and the cries of off-side now in vain, Teague took fall advantage lobbing the ball audaciously over the keeper, who was caught in no man's land -1 nil to the hoops, get in!

The goal may have been the first real chance for either side, and you would have assumed that it would give Celtic a good foundation to build on, however any signs of an easy stroll for Celtic were put in to perspective when the referee made a ballsy decision in awarding a penalty against Mercier for handball, 10 minutes from the end of the half. It was one of those types of handball's that are sometimes given, and are other times blissfully ignored. But on this occasion, and with the referee looking to stamp her authority on the game, there was only going to be one outcome.

So, for the second game running Celtic were up against a penalty, which gave Fourie another chance to bring out the rubber legs. However, the Globe and Mail striker kept his focus, and coolly finished from 12 yards, giving Fourie no chance.

Celtic will have felt a little hard done by, but their spirits showed no signs of being dampened moments after the equaliser, when Stuckmann drilled in a curling effort from the edge of the 18 yard box, only to be denied by the girth of the post. On closer inspection the foundations of the goal post looked to have been physically shaken, such was the power behind the Giant Germans effort.

The Second half began with the score level, but it was Globe and Mail who showed early promise and initiative. Celtic were miss placing far too many passes, and were welcoming pressure from their opponents. So, it came some what against the run of play though, when Celtic were given a life line. Tenacious midfield Chilean, Gonzalez managed to dig out a shot inside the box, only for it to be blocked by one of the many bodies occupying his route to goal. However, the ricochet fell kindly to Teague, who was on hand to grab his and Celtic's second, forcing the ball under the keepers body from just outside the six yard box.

It was a bitter blow to Globe and Mail's efforts, but they showed great resolve and continued to dominate much of the play despite trailing for the second time in the game. If it were not for the heroics of the ever present Fourie in goal, Globe and Mail would have surely got themselves back in the game. First, and again after another freekick was awarded, Globe and Mail had Fourie at full stretch, after what seemed like a shot destine for goal was tipped around the post. Next, a cross from the Globe and Mail Left wing turned into a dangerous shot, but Fourie was alert to the danger, and again at full stretch tip it over the bar. This was turning out to be a day for the camera's for Fourie, who must have been wishing McGroarty was there to capture what was developing in to a man of the match display.

At the opposite end of the pitch chances had dried up quicker than the greasy surface being played on. Such was the scarcity of opportunities, Curley decided on taking matters in to his own hands by inexplicably checking an opposition player in the centre circle. Such was the velocity of the collision, that it sounded more like a car crash than a tackle. Curley walked away from the incident without a scratch, while the opposition player rolled around on the floor like a salmon out of water. Clearly the sound was worse than the impact. And fortunately with only 10 minutes left on the clock, the referee was lenient on the sleep deprived Curley, no doubt after a few charmful whispers in her ear, deciding the robust challenge warranted a yellow not a red.

With the final minutes on the clock rapidly ticking away, Celtic were under heavy pressure and desperate for the final whistle. Fourie cemented his man of the match accolade with one more match winning save right at the death. Celtic were unable to clear their lines effectively, and their striker was left with a golden opportunity to claim a draw, only for the striker to blast his shot directly at the well placed Fourie. The danger was desperately averted, and this time the referee's whistle did bring an end to the game and not another freekick, much to Celtic's relief.

It won't go down as the prettiest spectacle ever witnessed, but Celtic dug deep and managed a win, when perhaps in previous season they would have dropped points. Its ugly games like this that can have a huge bearing on outcomes come the end of the season. Manager Tibby will want to play down any premature talk of title credentials, given how early it is in the season, but Celtic have shown signs that they can win, and win ugly when they need to. Hopefully in their next fixture against the some what inappropriately named Hooligans Filmworks, Celtic can get back to some pretty football. It will, however, be a stern test given that Hooligans have only conceded two goals so far this season.

Next game 13th June Hooligans Filmworks v Fionn MacCool's Celtic 9am, venue Eglinton flats (NW)

A Weekend of 2 Halfs

A Catalogue of goals, errors and double headers. Following last weeks record breaking exploits, Celtic picked up where they left off, writing history in the process against minnows Trinity Park, before the sobering clash against Premier opposition, DV Hawks in the TSSL Cup.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 10-1 Trinity Park FC

Where do you start? Trinity Park, whom allegedly switched from the Sunday league to the Media League, in search of more hospitable pastures, continued their woeful underestimation of the Media League for the second week in a row, by succumbing to a heavy defeat at the hands of Celtic.

Looking at the score line, which resembles something that would be more familiar at the New Road cricket ground, its hard to believe that Trinity Park actually took the lead in this one sided encounter. From the moment you heard the shrill blast of the referee's whistle, Celtic dominated possession and territory, pinning Trinity firmly in to their own half with no feasible escape route. Had it not been for Celtic's insistence, in attempting to walk the ball in to the goal, which, considering the fight being put up by the entrenched opposition was not completely unrealistic, the scoring would have taken a predictable path.

However, as so often you see, a side dominates only for one aimlessly lofted ball by the opposition, to cut through the defense like a moment of genius attacking clarity. After 20 minutes, Trinity awoke form their sedated state, scoring against the run of play, after what seemed like another routine punt, evaded the Celtic back line, leaving a one on one with the Keeper. Fourie, fresh and alert to the danger after intensive sessions down the gym, did well to cut down the angle, and even managed to get a piece of the ball, was ultimately unable to save Celtic blushes -1 nil Trinity.

Before the kick off I had advised against complacency, as we had in the past, so often conceded points to lesser opposition. A fact that Fitzpatrick was quick to cross examine, reeling off countless victories against such weaker teams, in a robotic vidiprinter like manner. The statistical tongue lashing put me firmly in my place, but almost came back to haunt the scot, before reality finally kicked in 5 minutes after Trinity took the lead.

Temuri Imnaishvili, deployed as a striker instead of his preferred specialised left wing slot, came off the bench to pull Celtic level, after some tricky footwork opened up space in the box allowing a clean sight of goal. A collective sigh of relief was exhaled throughout the Celtic ranks, as the ball nestled in the net, and now it only felt like a matter of time before they would take the lead.

The equaliser though, only seemed to add more unneeded urgency to Celtic's hurried play, and it took the unlikely combination of the two Worcestershire born boys to put Celtic in the driving seat. Manager Tibby, who had previously stated his reluctance to be utilised on the pitch, came off the bench to score his first goal of the season, slotting home after being put clean through by Teague.

Before the half was up, Fitzpatrick added a third. And it was his first since that memorable goal in last years cup final, which every Celtic player, and anyone within a mile radius of Fitzpatrick, knows of as they have been subjected to a count by count rendition of the winner in forensic detail.

The second half continued in much the same vain that the first had finished, Celtic dictating play like an arrogant rogue totalitarian. The hoops had now earned the freedom to nonchalantly knock the ball around at will, and toy with Trinity, like a cat playing with a ball of string.

The feline qualities were unrelenting, the flood gates were now well and truly breached, and Celtic were adding to the score line quicker than the referee could scribble them down. Prior scored with clinical accuracy from the edge of the box after some great approach play by Celtic, proceeding goals by Curley, the returning Gonzalez and Mercier who dedicated his goal to the Celtic back line.

The over worked referee would have been forgiven for bringing a premature end to proceedings, given that both sets of players had lost track of the scoreline but ultimately he proved unforgiving allowing Celtic to reach double figures and a record winning margin.


DV Hawks 4-0 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

Unlike the previous result, this scoreline didn't tell the whole picture. Celtic, thin on numbers, due to injuries, players taking unauthorised vacation (when are you back Seamus?) and other unacceptable commitments, (Sheriff's take note) put up a brave fight against DV Hawks, who normally earn their scalps in the Premier division.

After a physical first half which saw DV Hawks 1 up, Celtic started the second half, aided by the strong Eglinton cross wind, knowing that an equaliser would have them right back in the fixture and would put the pressure back on DV Hawks. It would, however, be DV Hawks who first threatened to add to the score line, after Carney unceremoniously ended a darting run by their brummy forward inside the box. Carney will have felt like he had no choice but to bring the player down, and the referee was equally left with little option, and duly pointed to the spot.

At 12 yards, and against premier opposition, you would have betted on DV Hawks putting the game beyond doubt, but when you have the "Grobbelaar rubber legs" of Fourie in goal, mesmerising the forwards distracted eyes, anything can happen. And, just like Bruce and Jerzy before him, Fourie's tricks paid off, after the striker buckled under the torment, ballooning his effort clean over the bar. Cries of the now trademark "justice" bellowed out from the burly South African, and Celtic were off the hook.

However, Fourie's heroics were short lived. The pacey brummy forward again exploited the ball over the top, and no amount of wobbly legs were going to break his concentration this time, as gleefully he converted to make it two nil. This knocked the wind out of the Celtic sails, and despite some legitimate claims for a handball in the penalty box, that went unnoticed by the bewildered referee, who's performance was saved the scrutiny of video replay, Celtic could not fight their way back in to the game.

The final score ended 4 nil, which in truth flattered DV Hawks. They may have reached the next round of the cup, but they will not forget this bruising battle against the hoops too quickly, and the scars will serve as a reminder should their memory lapse.

For Celtic, their are bigger fish to fry, and attention will now quickly be turned to the League. On a weekend that served a record win and a deflating cup loss, Tibby will look to settle the ship, starting at home (Eglinton Flats NW corner) against Globe and Mail FC on Saturday 6th June, KO 9.00am

AS Rosso Roasted

AS Rosso 2-5 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

Due to overwhelming pressure, I have decided to take some time out from talking nonsense about the holy grail that is the Premier League, and instead turn my attention to whats really important -Fionn MacCool's Celtic season opener. The writing however, will pail in comparison to those of Celtics favourite pundit, Mark Knipe, who's comedic poetry is still sorely missed by many of those who would open their inbox on a Monday morning in eager anticipation, desperate for a distraction from the working week that looms large.

After the conclusion of winter campaigns at the docks which saw both Celtic teams narrowly miss out in the final of their respective divisions, a new era beckoned for Fionn MacCool's Celtic. Courtesy of hard work behind the scenes from Jude Bredin and Mike Carney, Celtic were ready to compliment the Summer season with a new strip, ensuring a cohesive uniform instead of the rag tag of multiple brands and sponsors, usually witnessed. In addition to the new fashion statement, Celtic welcomed back long serving Desmond Tibby in to the fold as Manager, who takes on the monumental task of controlling the swollen ego's, that are only eclipsed in propotion, by that of a Premier League Squad.

While Celtic came prepared for the fixture after a grueling pre-season, which saw them pit their wits against Premier opposition, AS Rosso showed all the signs of a newly formed team, enthusiastically pacing back and forth across the pitch followed by comprehensive stretches. As the bare bones of the Celtic squad began to arrive at drip drop pace, nervous glances scoured over the unknown quantity of unfamiliar, sizable opposition.

With just enough players kitted up and ready to kick off, Celtic took to the perfectly consistent, fast paced astro turf pitch, resistant to the harsh realities of a Canadian Winter. Under the baking summer heat that disturb many a recluse from their winter hibernation, both teams tentatively sussed each other out, posturing and waiting for someone to make the first telling move.

10 minutes or so in to the game, and with the score still 0-0, tardy reinforcements arrived in the shape of Jimmy Evangelou and Raymond Curley, who were impatiently ordered to kit up and get ready to be introduced to the action. Such indiscipline's that wont go unpunished in the future, after Manager Tibby looks to reaffirm authority with the introduction of the designated "Sheriff" whom will dish out serious financial penalties for improper conduct.

After 15 minutes the deadlock was finally broke in bizarre circumstances. Curley, came off the bench adding some zest to the forward line, spread the play wide to Teague who appeared to be occupying innocuous territory down the left wing. Teague, on his weaker left foot, sliced a cross in to the box which despite being condemned mid air by the articulate commentary, "oh shit", swung towards the far corner, evading the keepers desperate reach. Due to the mid air admission, celebrations were muted given the fortuitous circumstances.

Minutes later, Celtic doubled their lead, after good work down the left wing saw Curley square the ball across the box, with Teague on hand to stab home ahead of Tibby who was loitering with intent at the back post.

With Celtic seemingly in control, after creating a 2 goal cushion, complacency set in with half time soon approaching. Unfortunately, AS Rosso managed to nick one before the half time whistle, after finding space down their right wing, the winger crossed the ball to the striker who finished admirably from an acute angle.

The second half kicked off and Celtic looked to regain their 2 goal advantage. Debutant Colin Prior looked a great acquisition, working tirelessly, setting a great standard in midfield. And the hard work soon paid off, after Mark Fitzpatrick silenced any concerns over his long term future with the hoops, by curling in a great cross from the right wing, which was met and dispatched lethargically by Curley.

Again, with Celtic seemingly in control, AS Rosso unsettled the nerves with their second goal of the game to make it 2-3. A softly awarded freekick down the Rosso left wing, was firmly met by a familiar head (forget the guys name, but I have definitely seen that country man before) leaving Fourie with no chance.

Any signs of a Rosso equaliser were soon squashed, as Celtic began to expose space on the counter attack. Bredin added a fourth after a neat 1-2 exchange on the edge of the box with Curley, left only the keeper to beat. Bredin was happy to oblige, and coolly slotted the ball in to the bottom left corner, leaving the Rosso players to plead in vain to the linesmen for offside.

Before the final whistle, their was still time for Teague to wrap up proceedings by clinching a hattrick. Again with Rosso committing men forward in search for a life line, the ball over the top left Teague though on goal, only for the trailing defender to tug his shirt before the sniper made sure he went down to claim a penalty. The penalty was dispatched, making the final score 2-5 to Celtic.

So, for the first time in their history, Celtic managed to open the campaign with a victory. With a strong squad, competition will be fierce as Celtic look to build on this positive start, by going one better than last season, and pushing for the TSSL Media League title.

In all its glory here are the highlights......