Fionn MacCool's Celtic: A feast fit for a champion

Just as writers for the Simpson's get lazy when a milestone is reached by hashing episodes together, I thought I would follow suit and compile the most influential parts of Celtic's season, that leads a path from preseason young pretenders to matured TSSL Media League Champions.

AS Rosso Roasted
25th May 2009

AS Rosso were making their debut in the TSSL Media League, but Celtic were not to be in charitable mood, placing a solid maker in the soil on the opening day, after a 5-2 victory, with a hatrick by Teague to boast. The game also marked the first broadcasting of Celtic, after a lucrative deal was struck with local studio, McGroarty Pictures. And, if you haven't become tired of seeing the highlights, the video in all its HD glory can be seen here.

Celtic continued their explosive start to the campaign the following week after the demolition of another new arrival in the TSSL media league, Trinity Park 10-1. The debutantes went on to be the whipping boys of the league, conceding a colossal 135 goals in 18 games.


Fionn MacCool's Celtic 0-3 KU Golden Oldies
20th June 2009

After going 5 games unbeaten in the league, the defeat to KU Golden Oldies brought Celtics sky high ambitions, crashing back down to earth. Such was the sobering effect of the disappointing defeat, I personally took a leave of absence from writing, taking physiological refuge for a week until I had something worthy of writing about. Which, basically explains the lack of match report for this one.

This may have been Celtics first defeat of the season, but it was also possibly the catalyst for motivation later in the season, when Celtic faced KU Golden Oldies in what was a must win game.

Sierra Stars 0-1 Fionn MacCool's Celtic
11th July 2009

After the humbling defeat to KU Golden Oldies, Celtic feeling sorry for themselves went through their roughest patch of the season, following up the 3-0 loss, with a draw against Morton 1-all, and then another defeat to Multinational. Given Celtic's self imposed high standards, training schedules were doubled and diet's strictly monitored, in the lead up to the game against old foe, Sierra Stars. After only losing two games in the league all last season, the pressure was on, and despite what the score line might suggest, this was a cracker.

Suspicion regarding Celtics finishing qualities were immediately raised, from the moment Curley had the nerve to pull out the his new orange/salmon coloured boots from his kit bag. However, after reluctantly switching back to the old familiar, more conservative white boots in the second half, Curley and Celtic soon had something to shout about.

After Celtic were awarded a rare freekick dangerously positioned on the corner of the Sierra box, the set piece was whipped in to the danger area, and Curley, with his shooting boots back on, effortlessly plucked the ball out of the air with his back to goal, pirouetted and ruthlessly smashed home a priceless goal in front of the ecstatic crowd.

The joy was short lived however, only moments after the goal, Celtic were down to 10 men. Mercier, who's must have been effected by the Salmon coloured boots, leaped like one, and tipped over the bar after Fourie was caught off his line.

The drama was not to end their though. The resulting penalty was saved by wobbly legs Fourie, whom would go on to thwart in the region of five more penalties over the course of the season. (citation needed!) The result also saw the start of a phenomenal run for Celtic, which would see them go the rest of the season unbeaten in their 12 remaining games, conceding only 6 goals.

Sierra's Fallen Stars
Fionn MacCool's Celtic 1-1 Zoomer
18 July 2009

With the effects of the Garbage strike in full swing, Celtic unfortunately had to cater for two games in one weekend. The first, was against Zoomer, which was drawn 1-1. And, while from the outside this fixture might look mundane and not worthy of mention, it gained a position amongst the elite for 3 reasons. 1, it gave birth to what would go on to be an infamous quote of the season, "Don't do a Zoomer". 2, after being the better team for virtually the entire game, Celtic were 1-0 down and staring at defeat with only minutes on the clock, until Peter McCann on his debut scored a crucial goal and rescued a invaluable point. 3, Such was the shambolic performance, the resulting, thorough, dressing down speech from manager Tibby, which at times looked like it might bring grown men to a whimpering mess, galvanised Celtic for what would prove to be unrecognizable performance against Sierra Stars the following day.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 3-1 Sierra Stars
19th July 2009

I could go on and on at length about the 3-1 victory over Sierra's Stars, throwing superlatives at it left right and centre, but what has to go down as one of Celtic's most impressive and important wins in living memories, was overshadowed by the way the game the game ended -a left hook to the Ref's rosey red cheek. Some might argue it was a more appropriate alternative to the traditional whistle.

KU Golden Oldies 1-5 Fionn MacCool's Celtic
22nd August 2009

In terms of performance, I personally (though this has nothing to do with the brace I scored, honest!) thought this was Celtic's most complete of the season. Every individual who showed up that day, were up for the challenge, and knew this was the moment of reckoning, when a season can be won or lost. The desire was simply far stronger, and Celtic ruthlessly demolished a side that went on to be Media Cup Champions and runners up to Celtic in the league.

Fionn MacCool's Celtic 1-0 Morton
29th August 2009

If the KU game was all about attacking flair, style and taking your chances,this once was all about Celtics defensive qualities, both in terms of thwarting Morton's predictable agricultural tactics, and doing a job at the opposite end of the field, when the forwards couldn't hit a barn door.

In season pasts, 1-nil against old rivals Morton might not have been enough to secure victory, but with Celtics water tight defense, only a lucky goal against the run of play would be Morton's escape.

Celtic failed to break the deadlock, until half way though the second half, when the defense, fittingly, took matters in to their own hands. Prior whipped in a lush cross from the right, and with a devastating drilled header, Stuckmann buried the ball in to the back of the net with the keeper rooted.

In the three fixtures Celtic contested with Morton, only on one occasion did they leak a goal. The last game may not have been the prettiest, but it was another crucial three points gained at the business end of the season. If you can win without playing well, you will always been in with a chance come trophy time. That, I believe is what Sir Alex Ferguson's philosophy is built on -least that's what United have been doing for a couple of decades! I tried to go the how article without a random United jab, I tried.

Multinational 0-1 Fionn MacCool's Celtic
12th September 2009

Again, if you were looking to give some budding youngster the opportunity to experience some top clash finishing, you would have been angrily asking for a refund with this one. A messy spill over from the previous weeks lesson on how not to finish. However, that said, the goal did come from a forward, in a matter of minutes from the kick off. A few mono eye brows were raised when Fitzpatrick's name was selected in the front line, but the silver fox repaid the faith shown in him by Manager Tibby, converting Celtics first chance of the game.

Having been picked out by a cross ball pass from Bredin, which evaded Teague's stride, Fitzpatrick found him self firmly in the whites of the on rushing keeper's eyes, with glory just around the corner. When many others would have had a rush of blood to the head, Fitzpatrick kept his cool, and exquisitely rounded the keeper and finished from such an acute angle he was practically on the byline. Given the importance of the goal, and the quality of the finish, this probably goes down as my vote for goal of the season, but keep that quite from Fitz!

Celtic would go on to win their reaming two games of the season, with comfortable victories over Globe and Mail, and Zoomer, leaving them on a impressive 40 points haul from 18 games. Despite being top of the league by one point, Celtic would have to wait two more agonizing weeks before KU GOlden Oldies played their remaining game in hand, knowing that a draw would be enough to hand them the title.

And, with Morton unwittingly assigned the task of deciding the TSSL Media Champions, turned the season on its head in the dying moments of the game, coming from 2-nil down to rescue a point and hand Celtic the Championship. An unlikely hero for Celtic, but one that will now making future encounters a fraction more bearable.

So, with Celtic lifting the Championship only four years after entering the competition, it was time to once again get the tux out and rub elbows with other fellow equals, at the annual TSSL Champions Banquet.

Expensive Champagne would only be served, and drank from the Champions cup, the food would be served on a silver platter by the white gloved hand of a waiter, that has also been through vigorous "Champion" testing to ensure that only winners served the elite, and glamorous entertainment especially flown in from Vegas would bring the night to a close. In reality, I was the only pillock in a tux, excluding the wait staff, and the food and wine was equal to its $35 a head fee. We didn't stick around to see the local Downsview pop star, as celebrating the Championship over a couple of pints of shandy seemed far more inviting.

Celtic are now already full swing into the indoor winter league, but I am sure we will all look forward to what the summer has to offer. Watch this space.

Players player of the season: Colin Prior
Managers Player of the season: Travis Fourie
Top Goal Scorer: Ray Curley
Goal of the season???......Cast your votes now.

Celtic Crowned CHAMPIONS!!

In a day when the Celtic traveling contingency outnumbered both Morton and KU Golden Oldies supporters 5-1 even though the famous hoops were not on display, history was made as Celtic claimed their first TSSL League title amidst a raucous atmosphere at Eglinton flats, sparking celebrations not seen since Lisbon 67'.

Before we get in to the nitty gritty of this remarkable feat, which hinged on the final game of the season, I would like to go back a couple of weeks when Celtic had two remaining games left of which both had to be won. The first of the two games was against the much fancied fellow title contenders Multinational, whom had beaten Celtic in the first encounter 1-0 and were debutantes in the Media League this term. Celtic were well aware of the importance of the Multinational game, and the objective was crystal clear: Must win. No more room for errors, a drew would not be enough, victory was the only option, clearly, this was the last chance saloon.

Multinational 0-1 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

To add to Celtic's already mammoth task, due to injuries and players going AWOL, the back line was down to the bare bones, and was patched together with what ever reinforcements that manager Tibby could get his hands on. In these types of situations, you need to be able to call on the senior payers and more specifically your captain, to grab the game by the scruff of the neck and drag the team over the line -kicking and screaming if necessary. Luckily for Celtic, their Captain, Jason Mercier heard the call, and yet again put in a barnstorming performance, leading from the back and keeping the Celtic defense water tight for a solid 90+ minutes.

At the opposite end of the field, where again injuries were limiting Tibby's options, Fitzpatrick had been handed a starting birth partnering Teague up front. Whether Tibby's hand had been forced to play Fitzpatrick up front or whether it was sheer divine intuition, Fitzpatrick wasn't hanging around for an answer and seized the opportunity with barely 5 minutes on the clock, with Celtics first attack of the game.

Multinational had been controlling the tempo of the game and were confidently stroking the ball around with short intricate passes. However, against the run of play, Celtic managed to muster an attack down the left wing through Bredin. The rangy left wingers gallop had left him deep in Multinational territory with both Teague and Fitzpatrick screaming for the square ball. Bredin obliged, with a pass that look like it was intended for Teague but strayed behind the Englishman's run. However, the pass deceived not only Teague, but the rest of the Multinational back line, splitting it in two leaving Fitzpatrick clean through on the overlap. With the goal keeper rushing off his line, Fitzpatrick skillfully (not a word I use lightly!) rounded the keeper, and then from the most acute of angles rolled the ball over the line, leaving the trailing goalkeeper and defender in his wake. This was a huge life line, and it proved that Fitzpatrick had a healthy appetite when it came to the big occasion. The importance of the goal was up there with his match winner in the cup final the previous year, but this time, and much to the relief of the bench, Fitzpatrick kept his shirt on, opting against the explicit triple X celebrations.

After the Goal Multinational continued to dominate possession, but for all the slick passing on display failed to create any real end product. There was, however a sense that should they continue to boss proceedings in the second half, it would only be a matter of time before the possession would yield goals. A threat Tibby recognised all to well, as he look to reinvigorate Celtic during the half time team talk.

Sitting on the one goal advantage and soaking up the pressure was a risky game, and in the second half Celtic finally crept from out of their defensive shell and began knocking on Multinationals door. First up, Curley came close after been put through by an instinctive through ball from Barrero. Curley latched on to the pass, and with the keeper again looking to close the angle, deftly lobbed the ball over his advances only to see the ball pass inch's wide of the up right.

With the game becoming more open as both teams looked for the decisive second goal, Multinational managed to register their first shot on target, but Fourie was equal to it, tipping over the bar from close range.

As the minutes ticked away, the game was drawing to angonising close with both teams having great chances. With the Multinational back line pushing up close to the half way line they were prone to passes in behind. And first to exploit this was Lucero, after being put clean through only to be denied one on one with the goalkeeper. Next up Teague, with almost an identical chance as Lucero was foiled by the keeper, who at this point was keeping his side in the game. Teague then had an another opportunity to seal Multinationals fate only for a last ditch tackle to keep them in with a shout.

Much to the relief of Teague, and owing a huge debt to the magnificent Celtic back line a clean was kept, and Celtic had achieved the must win they set out for.

Zoomer FC 0-5 Fionn MacCool's Celtic

The objective in this one: "Don't do a Zoomer."

Although the score line would suggest an even more entertaining game then the Multinational match, do not be fooled by the books cover. Zoomer, with little to play for than bragging rights to middle table mediocrity, had about as much motivation for this encounter as I do for mental arithmetic. Which, in terms of numbers, equated to 9 or possibly ten men -what difference does it make- sheepishly displaying a 4-3-1 formation that was never going to trouble Celtic.

At least that's what we thought. Perhaps, knowing Celtics Achilles heel, which is play badly and Celtic will drop to your standard was Zoomer's cunning plan. What ever the reason, Celtic managed to make hard work out of the depleted Zoomer, and it wasnt until the second half, with the Zoomer tiring, that Celtic really drove home their numerical advantage.

Highlights of the game included, a brace by Curley, who would have pinched a hatrick had it not been for Teague sabotaging a goal bound effort, clearing the bar from a yard out with a dismal header, such was his level of desperation to get on the score sheet. Although, who really needs to hear about a Curley hatrick anyway?! Your welcome.

The other key moments came from, Bredin who managed to get on the score sheet as well, bringing his drought to an end, after being put thorugh with a punched like pass from Teague which has suspciions of being off offside. Prior drove in a clean finish after finding his range, and, Bredin retruned the favour to Teague with a square ball inside the box, which Teague tucked away, much to his relief.

So, in terms of quality, the two games were at opposite ends of the spectrum. But, the points had been secured and now Celtic had to sit and wait for two agonising weeks, while KU finished up their schedule, whilst knowing that KU at least had to draw one of their two remaining gmaes for Celtic to then win on goal difference. After winning 3-1 in their penultimate game, the worst was feared as the opposition for their last game was our old foe Morton, who similar to Zoomer had little to play for as their final league position was all but set.

And, that theory at least at half time, with Morton 2-0 down would seem like a sound bet. However, from the Morse code updates I was receiving, depsite being two goals down, Morton had played the better football in the first half. And, they continued the second in much the same vain. It would, however, take until 10 minutes from time to give the Celtic traveling suporters some hope to cling to.

After being two goals to the good the KU manager, in his naivety, made a quadruple substitution including the goalkeeper. And it would be the change in keeper, that ultimately would lead to their down fall. After what looked like a routine save found its way in to the net through the keepers butter like fingers, Morton sensed a comeback. And, on 90 minutes, with Celtic's hopes of league title glory in the balance, Morton delivered the shattering blow to KU, via a freekick awarded just outside the box, that smacked the post but fell kindly to Morton who duly tapped home.

Who needs the Premier league? Pfff! You could not ask for a more dramatic ending to a fantastic season, which finally sees Celtic get their hands on the elusive League title, which slipped through their grips this time last season, ironically due to a no-show from KU. Bitter sweet.
I could ramble on, and continue to throw superlatives on what has been a season full of highs and lows, but their is little more satisfying than kicking back and gazing at the league table, Celtic atop.

Club GP W D L GF GA +/- Pts Fionn MacCool's Celtic 18 12 4 2 51 12 39 40 KU Golden Oldies 18 12 4 2 55 29 26 40 Sierra Stars 18 12 2 4 52 19 33 38 Multinational Crew 18 9 5 4 48 21 27 32 Morton 18 9 4 5 55 26 29 31 Zoomer FC 18 6 4 8 32 39 -7 22 Hooligan Filmworks 18 5 4 9 32 28 4 19 Globe and Mail FC 18 5 2 11 36 40 -4 17 AS Rosso 18 5 1 12 35 55 -20 16 Trinity Park FC 18 0 0 18 8 135 -127 0

Wolves back in Premier Pack

Being the arrogant supporter of one of the "big four" from the elite Premier League (clue: we are the only one of the big four that have never actually won the "premier" league), I must admit that the only time I really give the lower leagues, such as the Coca Cola Championship, any significant attention is usually when the season is coming to a conclusion. I would never be able to give any good betting tips on who will most likely be promoted/relegated. Although, to the Championships credit, you never really know how the season will pan out, as it doesn't suffer from the predictability that the Premier League does. I am still amazed that Stoke and Hull are in the Premier League, how and when did that happen?

Such is my lack of knowledge beyond the Premier League, that it was only last week that I, first realised that Wolverhampton Wanderers would more than likely gain automatic promotion, and secondly that life long Liverpool supporter Steve Morgan, whom had been thwarted countless times in his attempts to buy Liverpool, was now the owner of Wolves for a paltry tenner! Was the reason he was shunned repeatedly from the Liverpool oak wood negotiation table, due to the dog eared ten pound note he kept slapping on it?

Morgan's sound investment, looks to be paying early dividends as Wolves secured Premier League status with their 1-0 win at home to QPR during the week, signaled by a good old pitch invasion at the final whistle. A vision which had me wondering if an old Uni friend of mine was ignoring the stewards futile attempts to suppress euphoria, and had joined the many thousands celebrating with players on the Molineux pitch. Scenes which will probably be repeated in their last home game of the season this Sunday, after they wrapped up the Championship title following the 1-1 draw with Barnsley.

I can not imagine what it must be like for your club to gain promotion, but Morgan gave some perspective after claiming the sensation beat that of the 2005 Liverpool Champions League triumph over AC Milan. I think his judgment might have been clouded by his disbelief that the tenner has matured in to a Premier League pass, but his switched legions can be overlooked for now.

While Wolves will want to bask in the glory of being back in the Premier League pack, attention, at least for the team, will turn to planning survival for next season. They need only to look over at neighbouring rivals West Bromwich Albion to see how Premier League football can see you rooted to the bottom of the table, a stark contrast from winning regularly in the Championship the season before.

McCarthy will want to improve on his Premier League record, after his woeful performance of just 15 points with Sunderland in the 2005/06 season. Wolves chances of survival will depend heavily on the amount of money they can invest on new players, and more importantly how they invest that money. I always had my reservations that had Steve Morgan completed his acquisition of Liverpool, would he have had the financial clout to invest in the playing staff and the ambitious stadium plans? While the sums of money Morgan will be expected to hand McCarthy, will vary greatly from that of Liverpool, Morgan is no longer playing around in the Championship and it will be time to put the tenners away, and bring out the fat check book.

To McCarthy's credit he has over seen much of the overhaul at Wolves so far, on a very modest budget. Two players that have made it on to my very limited radar, the Guy with the double barrel name Ebanks-Blake, bought for just over a million and former under 21 Michael Kightley snapped up from some obscure team for $25,000 which is probably what the average salary demand will now be next season. Come the re-opening of the transfer window, McCarthy will need to intensify his bargain hunting again as he scours for more diamonds in the rough. He will also need to keep the admiring eyes away from the two diamonds he already possesses.

In the mean time we wait and see if Sheffield United can pip Birmingham, and join Wolves in automatic promotion. If they are successful, it will give them an opportunity to re-open hostilities with West Ham, whom they still hold grievances over the Carlos Tevez saga.