England Wage Psychological Warfare

And I am sure that will be the first of many war related puns that will fire from nearly every media cannon, as England make there way to Bloemfontein, where hostilities with the ze Germans will once again be reopened.

Finally, after the embarrassment of the gifted equaliser against the US, and the barely watchable stalemate with Algeria, Capello has managed to find the illusive key to unlock the psychological shackles that seem to cripple England when ever they reach a major tournament. Almost from the first whisle, England seemed to play with far greater freedom against the Slovenia in the deciding final group match.

Carry on reading >>

5 Steps to Save England's World Cup Venture

Back in January this year, I provided Rafael Benitez with a complimentary 5 step guide to follow, that guaranteed to revive Liverpool's stalling season and get them into the Champions League position that every club would happily sell there Grandmother for. Had Benitez chose not to shun the enlightening guide, he might have secured 4th spot, and not found himself extricated to the boredom of Italian football, with Internazionale.

Such is my willingness to offer the likes of Benitez with unrivaled wisdom, in a selfless act, I have this time provided Fabio Capello with 5 steps to save England's World Cup venture. All of the steps should be followed without question, to the letter and in the stated order. Failure to follow in this manner will void the guarantee of qualification for the second round. So without further delay......

Carry on reading >>

Victoria v Toronto Celtic

I said at the beginning of the season that in order to witness the beautiful game in its purest example, you would be better off tuning in to Toronto's TSSL division 2, than watching the boring World Cup. Given the pitiful amount of goals so far in South Africa, in comparison to the 9 goal thriller contested between Victoria and Toronto Celtic on Tuesday evening, my statement holds true! And, by the way, no amount of unnecessary red cards will make up for the lack of goals in South Africa.

Carry on reading >>

Robert Green's BP inspired Spill

Its hard to decide which is more horrific, the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico that is devastating a natural ecosystem, or Robert Greens's spill costing England all three points against the US in their opening 2010 World Cup game. At least this latest English spill will hopefully be easier to mop up, with the option of a possible change in personnel between the sticks. It beats trying to preen the feathers of wildlife with Fairy Liquid anyway.

Carry on reading >>

World Cup Crystal Ball Predictions

Its next to impossible to try and resist jumping on the World Cup 2010 band wagon, and evangilise one's wisdom on how the worlds greatest tournament will unfold in South Africa. So with those cheeasy, and some what pointless novelty count down clocks -that never fail to spring up each time an event of significance occurs- firmly banished, its time to get your notepad ready. I have put my head on the chopping block with these insightful spoon bending predictions, so get down the bookies lively. You will be emptying your swollen wallet quicker than it takes me to break into tears when England get knocked out on penalties.

Carry on reading >>

Toronto Celtic v Junction

Following last weeks comfortable victory over Nation United, this column came in for some scathing criticism from certain anonymous quarters, citing that a biased slant had misrepresented proceedings. Given the result of this week fixture against Junction, it will be hard to be anything but biased, as I pour superlatives over a fine Celtic performance. Let the impartial Celtic writer begin.....

Back at the familiar surroundings of Eglinton flats, where many of the vital victories of last seasons championship were sealed, Toronto Celtic kicked off the game confidently, buoyed as though they were playing at home. The defense, organised and led by Murray, was pushing up the field, allowing a neat and tidy midfield to operate mostly in opposition territory, while the energetic front line were soon asking questions of the Junction defense.

Carry on reading >>

Mourning the Departure of Rafa Benitez

I use the word mourn purposely as scouring the headlines yesterday morning was like reading the obituaries. "Rafa leaves" one, "Benitez departs Anfield" another. What do you mean leave? Depart? Where to? I ask in vain, like some one in a state of shock at the loss of a close one. He rests in piece on the other side now, a morbid, and not so comforting thought that fills my cerebral.

I may not have been Benitez biggest fan, and in fact at times I found his tactics baffling and his repressed persona alienating, but after 6 years at the helm of Anfield, that commenced with that epic night in Istanbul, its is hard not to feel aggrieved that the poor performance of one season has outweighed the accomplishments of the other five.

Carry on reading >>

Nations United v Toronto Celtic

Spurned chances, an abundance of niggling free kicks, yellow cards for indiscipline and an opposition happy to settle for a draw from the moment the game kicked off, all conspired to make for a frustrating evening for Toronto Celtic at Centennial Park.


In what is fast becoming a trade mark, Toronto Celtic kicked off the game with the same vigour carried over from last weeks game against Transylvania. However the vigour and energy was not met with equal enthusiasm from opponents Nations United, who gave the impression that turning up for the game was a chore. An inconvenience stowed upon them like  having to read this catty match report. Settling for a point seemed a far more appealing proposition, a tactic which was excruicatingly demonstrated by the Nations Keeper, who's goal kicks seemed to last longer than it would take to cap the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. McGolrick grew a fully fledged beard between one of the keepers epic kicks.

Carry on reading >>