Monday, 1 February 2010

I had an affair with John Terry....Now Where is my $250 grand?!

Ok, so that is not entirely accurate, I would need considerably more to even consider the burden of carrying his love child. When will the likes of John Terry learn? Just because your haircut is that spiky style that dominated teenage trends in the early nighties, does not mean that you can continue to get away with running a muck, and then try to shush anybody that dares to expose your lude exploits.

Poor old Terry. Where ever you find, Footballers, copious amounts of money, glamour, and WAG's, you no doubt will find adultery. And, in the wings, a love child. The eclectic mix of sex, football and lingerie models, was simply too much temptation for Terry to resist.

For added poignancy, Terry could not be satisfied with cheating on his wife with one of the many loitering nobodies. No, to further complicate matters, he decided to court the overtures of his former team mate, Wayne Bridge's ex. Surely, in a moment of weakness, when models are shamelessly throwing themselves at you, picking out the one with the least amount of baggage should be simple? He should be a seasoned pro by now.

Terry further demonstrated his naivety, by then trying to cover his tracks, gagging the critical investigative journalism from the likes of the News of the World, with a Super injunction. Which, sounds more like one of Superman's early primitive strangle holds prior to leaving his crystal planet.

But, perhaps I am jumping the gun from the moral high ground I now lecture upon. Maybe, Terry is doing his duty for his Country. As a captain should. The scandal may have come to light a little prematurely, but this could be just what England needs for the impending World Cup this summer. Was this all a masterful, perfectly executed plot to bring about controversy for England's World Cup campaign?

An international tournament with England participating, is simply not the real deal unless the added spice of controversy looms large over the England camp, ready for a scandal hungry media to feed upon. Who can forget the images of Teddy Sheringham, Paul Gascoigne and the like, each taking their turn to swallow mouthfuls of alcohol, in the infamous dentist chair prior to Euro 96. Or Glenn Hoddle's surpirse announment to bring a faith healer as part of his coaching for World Cup 98. Could Terry's adultery be the World Cup 2010 scandal, that England so desperately craves for?

In order to make that sordid dream a reality, Wayne Bridge will need to be on the flight to South Africa. In fact, to ensure that the tension between the two former team mates is upheld, I would insist that Wayne Bridge gets a place in the squad, regardless of form or injury. Who cares if he runs with the aid of crutches. Or that his confidence is now crippled by the revelations in his personal life.

The potential for shenanigans if the two were to be reunited through England's world cup campaign are limitless. I would love to be a fly on the wall during the first day training. Will Bridge randomly launch a viscous attack on Terry, during the middle of play?

Controversy has a inuring ability to follow England like a bad smell, especially when it involves the national team captain. Will Fabio Cappello do the honourable thing and keep Terry as his captain, and include Bridge -injured or not? An expectant media and nation awaits.


  1. "Have a baby by John Terry, be a millionaire".

  2. Exactly Chis, why are wasting our time in the rat race, when there are numerous footballers ready to be bagged!


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